Atop My Hill

Cold and still going

going going. Drop

Back up

Never down for long

Chin up

Going going going

Peak.

Go some more.

Stop to view my

achievement.

So high i've gotten though

looking down,

they're high too.

Just high off the wrong mountain.

On the very top of the

lowest hill.

They try to take time

to tell themselves that

torture is better than

reaching to acquire higher.

As I sit atop my mountain and

question if the true reason

they lay below is the fact

that i'm so high, I start

to try.

Try to call out

Yelling to the lost, the broken.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"torture is better than

reaching to acquire higher.

As I sit atop my mountain and

question if the true reason

they lay below is the fact"

A splendid read and write...Bravo.....................

[DaughterNature]

Nice, this has some great ideas in it, I think with a little polishing it could be very dramatic! I like how in the beginning you devote some lines to only verbs -- to refine this technique, I would suggest you read some poetry by William Carlos Williams. In line 19, did you perhaps mean "torture" instead of "torcher"? Keep going!