geek theory

my theory of life

NORM- a state of being
I. Definition- a normal non-geek persona or object. Anything exhibiting no geeklike qualities.
II. The Jocks
A. Varsity football, baseball, basketball or any other sport players. Their hair is usually blonde or brown always clean cut unless they are going thru the “rebellious” phase then its still short but longer than clean cut.
1. Excludes: ping pong, bowling, golf and the table-top sports *chess and board games geeks view as sports
B. People who view and use sports as their identity.
C. People known for their well coordinated feats.
D. People with IQs of only one digit. They are residents of the gym and or the track/field.
III. Preppy/Cheerleaders and Spirit Pushers
A. Cheerleaders, popular and anyone wearing Abercrombie and Fitch to fit in. Their hair is mostly fake blonde if not platinum blonde. There are normally one or two brunettes who wish they were blonde in the mix. There is a rare occurrence (chances are 1 in 500) of a redhead in the group as well, but again those are rare.
B. People who get everything they want with no effort other than swiping a card with their parent’s (usually the father’s) name on it. This card never expires and they use it whenever they want.
C. People who put others down to make themselves SEEM smarter. It rarely ever works to their benefit in the education department; however in the social scene it works miracles.
D. People who like say like the like word like every like other like word ya know?
E. People who abuse the privilege of saying omigod. They also follow up like profusely with omigod.
F. People with IQs in the negatives. They are residents in the mall.
IV. Rockers/Punks
A. Musicians, usually drummers, who are in bands but not in the class band. They usually have longhair for the males and short hair for the females. Their hair is a variety of colors none of them natural, i.e. pink, blue, green, etc.
B. People who rarely are seen without headphones on their ears listening to music. The volume is usually all the way up and I have found it’s out of pity for others they really seem to just want to share their choice of music with the world.
C. People who air guitar/other instrument to any and all songs on the radio and also on their headphones causing a cloud of confused glances and weird stares.
D. IQs are usually high in this group. They still have close to failing grades despite this fact for they lack the need and drive to apply themselves and they are therefore cursed to underachieve.
E. Not all but a majority of them will skip school profusely. They are residents of detention.
V. Goths/Metalheads
A. People who wear black everything (including makeup, clothes and hair), they listen to mostly metal and techno music i.e. Marlin Manson and Ozzy Osbourne. They are usually pale and wear high leg high heel boots. Every item of clothing and in some cases their normal stuff has chains and skulls drawn or attached to it.
B. People with creepy long and black nails.
C. People who wear long black trench coats and as a result reside in the security office thanks to the school violence.
D. They might be affiliated with vampirism and or just plain evilness.
E. IQs are higher than that of a Jock but lower than that of a Rocker/Punk.
VI. Skaters/Hippies
A. Usually linked to Rockers/Punks but are entirely different. All have long hair the natural colors no dye jobs and also all hair is long and shaggy. They are usually seen with skateboards or on bikes with the trick bars on the wheels. They play sports involving hacky sacks and/or Frisbees.
B. They are also residents of detention and security. They are always complaining to this fact because they are not allowed to play their hippie/skater games. Their boards, hacks, Frisbees, and pot are always being taken away.
C. IQ is about the same as a Jock’s however, it was high as a Nerd’s before they were assimilated into this group. They lose IQ over a period of time and can get as low if not lower than that of a Preppy/Spirit Pusher if they don’t get out of this group after college. They can lead full healthy lives if they can break free. If they do not however, they will be living in their parents basement or down in a van down by the river.
VII. Artist/Poet/Actor/Regular Musician
A. They are known throughout school for their art. Many times they are picked on for their craft. They are usually covered in their medium i.e. ink, paints, clay, etc. They are always doing their craft in each class and even during lunch. They have the normal colors of hair though actors and poets dye it different colors. The artist will usually have longer hair they don’t bother brushing while the poet and the actor care about their appearance. In the case of the musician they appreciate their craft yet do not overly use their instrument.
B. They view things differently then others which make them excel in social settings yet they still are viewed as an outcast.
C. IQ is very high yet they underachieve and thus get poor grades in every subject except their craft i.e. the english, arts, and drama classes.
VIII. Band Nerd/Orchestra Nerd/Chorus Nerd
A. They are a close relative to the Nerds and also to the Band genre of Geekdom. They can be seen wandering halls with their instruments and cases that could easily fit in lockers. They have their natural hair colors however; the hairstyles are out of the ordinary i.e. the 5 ponytailed girls and the afroed white people.
B. They would marry their chosen instrument if legal. They also would lay their own life down for the sake of their instrument.
C. They are higher in the IQ chain but are not as high as the Nerd group. They reside in the band rooms and auditoriums where they perform. They excel in all classes but mostly in math, science and music.
D. Like the Nerds they are extremely prone toward the full blown geek side. When they start to listen to classical music for fun rather than tuning you have lost one of these fragile beings.
IX. Rappers/Card Sharks/Break Dancers/Miscellaneous
A. They hang out in separate groups smaller than the other main groups yet still in existence. They are usually doing the as the name suggests the action Ex: card sharks play cards, break dancers break dance. The hair of the group varies from group to group yet within the group it stays pretty similar.
B. IQ varies as well but within each of the groups it has a decreasing value starting with the highest ranking officer down to the newbie. Out of each group there is a negative IQ member and also a, well, genius member. They reside in various places depending on the group but they are usually all together in the cafeteria and courtyards.
X. Do-Gooders/Teacher’s Pets/Hall Monitors
A. People with morals who love to spread them to any and all people in their general vicinity. They spread the morals on so thick it crowds out all meaning in their actual words. Their hair is usually gross and greasy from the incessant twirling and touching. Some have short some long but all greasy.
B. They are obsessed with schoolwork and projects. Extra credit is their forte. They go way beyond the expectations of teachers and/or other authority figures standards i.e. project calls for 500+ words they take it to the level of 1,000+ words with a random, not necessarily needed or applicable, moral thrown into the mix.
C. They don’t have a lot of friends other than those of their own kind because no one wants to hear or less likely agree with their complaints on other’s lax views or their self righteous talk. They also reside in the butt of the teacher/principal/boss/really any authority figure’s.
D. The IQ is high yet they are such jerks that they say stupid things that continually come back to haunt them.
XI. Nerds
A. Last but not least of the norms, they are a close relative of the geeks yet they lack the well known trait of obsessions over particular objects, movies and or music and TV shows. Their hair is not exactly clean but it’s not too greasy either.
B. Favorite classes are the main ones i.e. math, science, history, and english. They have no marks in their permenant record and have no grades lower than an A- with the exception of Gym class which as they say “doesn’t count”. They reside at school mainly in the libraries doing research on things they really don’t have to. They do all the extra credits like the do-gooders/teacher’s pets/hall moniters do but they don’t add morals they just stick to the facts, in fact, they find new ones. They do thease projects also with less disdain for the rest of humankind.
C. As indicative of their grades they also have a large IQ usually in the 3 digits.
D. Since they are so close to the borderline of the geeks they are only one cult movie, sci-fi tv show, and good band’s concert from jumping that fence. As soon as they find this one obsession they will be geeks faster than you can say “Star Trek Convention”
XII. Conclusion
A. Thus concludes my theory on those not like me the Geek. Get off the couch and JOIN the geekside!