the eternal struggle

poem to lost friendships

i'm done with trying,
i'm done with caring,
why should i even think about you?
everytime its my heart thats tearing.

you say to stay,
you say to go.
what is it you want from me?
please let me know.

i hate the things,
everything that you do.
why should i care about it?
when i don't even like looking at you.

gone are the pictures,
shipped from my past.
why reopen wounds i've left there?
like ships open the mast.

left there and bleeding,
my insides torn out.
why no how could you do this?
my heart starts to shout.

then i awake and find you not there,
sighs of relief as i wonder where.
my past is just that left there defeated.
to hear from you now would never be needed.
alone and so stronger than ever before
i hope you know i am ever so much more
better and nicer and scarred than you
you are just sad and defending because its so true
you know it and hate it because i don't need you

are you happy now knowing i refuse to see you?

we will never talk, write or see

face to face because i'd rather be dead eternally.


so thanks for the memories

i'll be sure to forget.

why shouldn't i?

i wish we never met