first one

she is scared

it was dark and cold as she walked on the street toward home.  she had spent all day at work where she left feeling unappreciated and downtrodden.  the only sliver of happiness in her day was knowing she was only 30 minutes from home.  once there she'd start a fire in the stove and curl up with a good book.  she was so close and still felt so far.  the chill went straight to her bones as she heard the wolves howl in the forest a few miles away.  she was a little terrified since her boyfriend had not walked home with her today.  he's ussually here with me is all, she thought, no sense in getting worried about nothing.  she stresses herself out from time to time.  is someone there? no it's just my nerves getting the better of me only 25 minutes to go. i'll be home soon then i'll call him and tell him not to stand me up again i was just so scared... no i don't want to sound desperate.  i'll just say ... wait there is someone there...  no no no it's just the wind i know it has to be.  i'm worring over nothing.  dang it why wasn't he there it's only 30 minutes and he didn't even want to show up why  not? what did i do?  crap its so cold i wish i wasn't so far away... only 20 minutes.   

 

it's going to be fine.... nothings following me i'm all alone. she gasps as she sees a shadow out of the corner of her eye.  crap.  why didn't he come? i'm going to die.... no no no it's just cold and i bet the shadows of a dog or something.  can't be a person.  only 15 minutes left... if i walk faster it will get me away from the shadow  and i will get home faster.   i should have called for a ride i know it.... the shadow is following me. it's moving faster and faster as i move faster.  she starts to run. 

 

 

out of breathe she collapses at her gate.  " WHY..... ARE ... YOU... FOLLOWING.... ME??!!"  she screamed.  the shadow comes toward her... who is that? why didn't i just find a ride? what will happen to me?

the shadow is approaching the light now... " hun i was just a couple of minutes late why didn't you just wait for me?"

he came, she thought. a overwhelming flood of fear, pain and love burst her into tears as she rushed into his arms.  "don't ever be late again you made me so scared"

"calm down hun lets go inside and start the fire." he said as they walked inside.

Reviews

[Jesse]

" hun i was just a couple of minutes late why didn't you just wait for me?"

he came, she thought. a overwhelming flood of fear, pain and love burst her into tears as she rushed into his arms.
this clearly points to an earlier part of the story where she was complaining :

and yes the capitalization is on purpose but duly noted that i should be #1 more specific less ummm vague and #2 use the less lazy method of the caps button.... i just can't reach most of the time... out of a rather emmence lack of desire to capitalize... hey maybe its a trademark... yeah thats my new story and i will stick by it till i find the desire to capitalize

thanks for the review and also the comments/helpful remarks! ;D

[Megan Melindy]

An interesting little story... leaves me wondering, was there actually something following her, or was she just going mad? ::ponders:: I think we all go through this at one point or another, the adrenaline rush when walking in the dark, even if it's a familiar route. There just seems to be something about being alone in the dark, which can so easily frighten us at times. I know those nights spent walking home from the bus stop are especially nerve-racking...
One thing I noticed while reading the story was the lack of capitalization. Like for instance, the first line,

it was dark and cold as she walked on the street toward home.

'it' should be 'It'. But perhaps that was intentional, the lack of capitalization that is.
Also, the character's thoughts are at times difficult to pick out from the rest of the story. The use of italics would have been useful here, or using ' ' to indicate thought.
But overall, felt like there is something left to be desired, but perhaps that's just me wanting the story to be fleshed out more ^^