Tears of You

I was thinking of an instance of unconditional love, so here it is, this was for a friends project. so tell me what you think...

 

I am in a place of suffering and death, the greatest of sorrows and pain.

As I walk alone, I think of the places I've been to and the places I could have been.

The little boy thinking of playing baseball and his first kiss,

 The little girl, who had kissed him, turns and walks away as she takes his heart with her.

The marriage proposal with white roses in hand.

As I stand here alone with thoughts of past times and ideals, past love and loss. I stand here in the wake of it all thinking of you and how we are to have a little boy of our own.

 I think of the temple and the love it brings to mind.

I fought once, then I came to you, and now I'm fighting again to keep death away from you, to keep you happy even if it means dying beside you.

 We’ve known each other since preschool.

The shy and rambunctious boy I was,

 The little girl with hair so long and fine.

To look at you gave a radiance that you should deserve more than me.

When I thought I lost, you kissed me to let me know I’ve won.

I love you, to think that I was your angel, and now i’m your soldier in a far away war.

 I love you,

I give my blessing to the little boy coming, in hope you name him after your soldier, your lover, your mine always.

I love you in and out with no way to return and forever.

 I hope you live with me till then.

 

 

 

By Travis Wilson

Author's Note

so..i made this poem in an at least an hour late at night so i do understand if there are grammar and vocab problems. please bare with me and sorry.
what do you think? does it need any improvements?? ...

Reviews

[Rambling Prose]

What a beautiful journey of young love progressing to committed love & finally to love everlasting. I love the ethereal fell in the way you penned this.

Thank you for fighting for your country!

I'm sending a note to address a few typos.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Very nice. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

I really like how you travel and grow throughout the story. At first it doesn't seem like you are talking about you and a girl, but then it becomes crystal clear. You really capture the audiance at the heart.


"been too and the places the places I could have" --- You have "the places" twice in a row in this sentence.