chapter one: amends

“It wasn’t her fault!”

She remembered her father screaming those words at her just before the life faded from his eyes and she knew that how she treated Sarenna was unfair. However, she also couldn’t help but feel bitter that it was Sarenna that had given her the ring.

Glancing down at her hand she sighed as she remembered that it was Sarenna’s birthday today and she had not gotten her something.

Did I ever celebrate anything with her since Mom and Dad passed?

She wondered, sighing as she couldn’t remember if she had.

What does she like? Candles? Perfume?

She hated that she didn’t know after all Sarenna had been her legal guardian since she was ten years old.

I can’t just ask her. Not after all these years.

Letting out a sigh she glanced over at the woman who was seated at the table, drinking a cup of rose tea while reading the newspaper.

“Renna?” she called softly, causing the woman to look up, surprise written across her face.

“Yes, Lane?”

“Um…”

Lane froze, unsure of how to ask anything or what to say so she slowly got to her feet and walked over to the woman and knelt down in the same manner that one would see a knight do toward a king or queen.

“Washi Em Gomsu….I’m sorry.”

Lane was unsure what language to use so she used both, earning a small chuckle.

“Lane….get off the floor. We’re not in Merriam village.” Sarenna chided, reaching down to help the fifteen-year-old stand before adding “I’m not Ameya or Toni...I don’t expect my student to submit to me.”

Lane couldn’t help but flinch when she felt the hand gently tousle her cropped hair.

I don’t deserve the forgiveness.

“besides….You’ve been through a lot and you show your emotions more openly through your eyes.” Sarenna added, leaning forward to plant a kiss on the teen’s forehead.

“Now...You want to tell me what brought this on?”

Lane shook her head.

“No...I...I wish I could but…” she stammered, earning a chuckle.

“You’re like your mother….Bad with words.” her teacher and guardian guessed, earning a light smile as she pulled the girl in for a quick hug.

“Go stalk something or something…..I’m sure that if you tried hard enough Noir would manifest to talk to you.”

Lane sighed at this as she nuzzled against the woman, wishing that for once her spirit animal wasn’t brought up.

“Noir is probably prowling the astral planes right now….I don’t need to summon him here just to get nagged at.” she retorted, voice muffled in the crook of the woman’s neck.

Why do I feel so bad all of a sudden?

She wondered as she began to pull away from the embrace.

“Then would you like to tell me about it?”

The offer was light but Lane knew that Sarenna wouldn’t just ask a question like that without being serious.

“Not really...I mean….a lot has been going on at school and I just….”

She found herself answering in spite of the fluttering butterflies in her stomach.

“Is this about you liking girls or about your temper?”

Lane’s eyes widened at the woman’s words, blood crawling into her cheeks.

“um...both….Kinda but more than that. I was thinking about...The Blitz…”

She could see her teacher’s eyes darken when she mentioned the monsters and instantly looked away.

“If it’s about your parents….”

Sarenna began though the teen cut her off.

“I know it wasn’t your fault….that’s just it. I have treated you like s**t even though you’ve always been there for me and I don’t know how the hell to make it up to you!”

Lane felt tears pushing at the backs of her eyes though she wouldn’t let them fall.

“Lane, you help me out in a lot of ways and that…..ine luve...is enough.”