Sabotage

Did it hurt at all, me leaving you?

Did you like breathing the fresh air? 

Like washing your pillows of my perfume, 

like putting my spare t-shirts in an Amazon Prime box 

and slapping my address on it?

Would you love me now?

Now that I'm blunt and pointy,

now that I wear everything two sizes too big,

now that the sides of my hands have pen ink smeared on them,

now that my mouth tastes bitter 

like black French roast and a blue pack of American Spirits

Do you lay on your side and stare at the wall 

and think of me as much as I do you?

Let me give it to you straight,

let me lay you back and put a funnel in your waiting mouth:

I lied

We were fixable

And I think that's why, two years later,

I'm still so in love with you

But I loved the self-sabotage, too

Reviews

[PandaPeaceful]

I absolutely loved this poem. The idea of self-sabotage and being in love/ needing love is incredibly conflicting. It sparks questions and it leaves the mind to imagine it all. However, the fact that the relationship was fixable only shows lost opportunity. It shows how one person is constantly battling their emotions-- constantly trying to bring themselves down. It's sad and triggers a heartbreaking emotion. Every question you ask was impacting. Making me question if there is hope. If they do think about you (character). Your words leave so much interpretation, so much space for imagination.

Thank you for sharing this.