Cancer Does Ugly Things

This is for my grandma,
who is not dead yet,
but who will be soon,
and who was always,
pushing my hair back,
behind my ear,
and who let me devour,
an entire bag of popcorn,
all by myself,
and who put my sister and I,
in blue pineapple bathing suits,
when we swam on her back porch. 

Hey grandma,
I've been sitting in your room,
and next to your bed,
for days on end,
and you don't know that I'm there,
but I also think that you do,
somewhere in that lost brain of yours.

Thank you grandma,
for peeling my grapes,
and letting me bang on kitchenware,
with wooden spoons,
and thank you grandma,
for letting me know,
that someone can be beautiful,
even near death,
when their arms are black and blue,
and their face is pale,
and their hair is still so soft. 

You are my pretty grandmother,
and each time I go to leave,
I lean over your bedside,
and hug your chest,
and you still kiss my head,
like you always have,

and I still love you to bits,
like you always have.