A world within four walls. [Together then apart]

Afternoons spent thinking of you.

If I were with you this moment

As the sun kissed you good morning,

I'd pull you away, jealous of her golden rays.

Keep you hidden from daylight

Knowing it meant you have to leave.

Your limbs entangled in mine,

I'd ask you to stay five minutes longer

Hoping you know I secretly mean forever

Each kiss would last a lifetime, 

Our minds shut to the world outside.

Echoing laughter, sunflower smiles

Looks that kill when 

Creases form at your eyes

In that instant, my world is complete

Over-sized sweatshirts, you & me.

But all that remains of us

Are these thoughts I hide away

In books you'll never see

It's time for me

To snap out of my reverie.

Author's Note

I was a little confused picking a gender for the sun. Thank you to those of you that helped me decide!
Feedback is appreciated :)

Reviews

[Chris Micha]

You have penned a wonderful and romantic piece. Bravo! :)

[Spacecadet]

Thank you for the review!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cob..]

Very beautiful :) I loved it

[Stefanie Holmes]

This was some beautiful poetry my friend! :) I loved the play on the sun being in human form.

~Stefanie

[Spacecadet]

Thank you Stefanie! I appreciate it :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I agree that the female sun was perfect, You used some wonderfully creative metaphors to create a melancholy feel that would make the most sensitive heart ache. Nicely done.

[Spacecadet]

Thank you Cowboy, your words are much appreciated :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure young lady.

[Madalyn Beck]

I agree, a female sun is the perfect choice, especially when showing jealousy towards her golden rays. This is a beautiful write. I really liked the honesty of it. The end was perfect though, breaking out of those past memories and moving forward - once we get it all down though. (:

[Spacecadet]

Thanks so much, Madalyn! The end was meant to be more about pondering over "what ifs" and "if onlys" but I like your perspective and how optimistic it is :) If only the end of the poem were happier, it'd make for perfect reality, don't you think?

[Madalyn Beck]

I do! But I also love this write the way it is. If you are not a reader or passionate about books, your perspective would be different and therefore you'll want to hit them over the head with a log from the tree they carelessly cut down! Hahaha!

[Roger Turgeon]

I think your decision to use a female sun in this instance is perfect. A male sun could have been quite confusing haha. Clearly your soul and love of romance comes shining through in this piece. Amazing how much sadness can come with romance. I'm happy you opened this book for us and shared your thoughts.

[Spacecadet]

Lol, yes Roger. Told you I'd drop the line but thank you for encouraging me to try new things and shine a light on fresh perspectives. I find it hard to write about much else, in fact I don't have the courage to venture out quite yet. I also believe that heartbreak in romance connects more with people, it allows me to be vulnerable which brings out emotion so much better. And in my opinion, romance is more often than not half part happy, half sad.
Thank you for reading and reviewing :D

[Warr;or]

Glad I could help, the poem is absouletly beautiful and I'm not one to read much poetry but this piece however; I really liked. Keep putting stuff out there, I can't wait to read more.
2nd Lieutenant Frost

[Spacecadet]

Thank you Ethan! Can't wait to hear more from you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"But all that remains of us
Are these thoughts I hide away"
Poetry of good memory and time become more valuable with time. I enjoyed the thoughts in the poem. I like the above lines. Sometime we allow memories to come alive to create and than we must put back. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Spacecadet]

Thank you for the review Coyote :) Glad you liked it.

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is beyond beautiful spacecadet.Wow you had me from the very first line.Into my favorites true :)

[Spacecadet]

Thank you so much, Vidya! -Literally smiling like crazy- :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Haha stop smiling so wide people will think you're loco lol.Just kidding hunny it was lovely be proud keep smiling :)

[Spacecadet]

I don't care! I'm going to smile like a crazy person! lol
It's really cool when I get the kind of response I don't expect :)