Lucid Dreaming.

Thoughts to paper.

As you're fast asleep,
I'm wide awake in this arctic chill
That's invaded my heart.
The sound of the ocean
Calms my aching heartbeat
And as the waves kiss the shore
They sweep away the footprints
We left scattered on the sand
All those tears ago.

Author's Note

Feedback is appreciated :)

Reviews

[isus]

did you experienced it yourself? did you went through sleep paralysys?

[Spacecadet]

Sleep paralysis is actually different from lucid dreaming, but no I have not experienced it.

[isus]

i know, there is some techniques to get in lucid dream through sleep paralysis

[Deuces]

This was nice. I found a lot of parallels and metaphor in this piece. What I took from this is that time heals, but it's not easy. Loved it and can relate. Will be back for more.

[Spacecadet]

Thanks G! Appreciate it :)

[Balkaran Sidhu]

All those tears ago...stands out for me

[Spacecadet]

Thank you, that's my favorite line as well :)

[zainul]

Very lucid work.
Cools the heart like the splashing waves on the body.

[Spacecadet]

Thankyou..

[zainul]

You are most welcome.:)

[Roger Turgeon]

It's a good thing the best "you" was on the beach when the chill arrived...

[Spacecadet]

The beauty of beach sunsets set the chill aflame :)

[ron]

Past love. How bitter the taste of love.
Great poem, love it...:)

[Spacecadet]

Much appreciated Ron!

[ron]

You are most welcome Spacecadet.

[Chris]

Endings and letting go... finally.

[Spacecadet]

Never soon enough..
Thanks for reading!

[Stephen]

I loved this piece but this piece could be more cool reading if you'd gripped some more rhyme. Yeah, I know here in this piece, you've tried to hold a rhyme and you did a great job here, So, here's a rhythmic version of your this poem ...

"As you're fast asleep, I'm wide awake in this arctic chill,
The sounds of my aching heartbeat, Waves kiss my angelic imprints,
We left some scattered on the sand years ago ...
Which's still making my beautiful blue eyes, "Wink...Blink!"

That's a poem, I've made with a rhyme and yup, i've gifted you as well. I hope you love this poem. Am not here to show off anything, me too here to learn from others and i've read your profile where I found you too want criticisms as I do want. So, i'd love if we both read each others stuffs and put our personal thoughts on a review box, cause it'd help us allot improving our skills.

Thanks for reading. I really love your poem the way I loved mine.
Keep up the great work!

[Spacecadet]

It's a prose poem and so there is no rhyme scheme. It isn't meant to rhyme, the flow is such that the imagery and depth of emotions find a blend.
Thanks for reading :)

[Tena Luvs]

I like your poem the way it is. I totally can relate to it for I am a Lucid dreamer myself. And this was well written with just a few lines it already has taken me away well written!

[@zeewhykay]

Nice twist ! Vigorating imagery, emphasised by your dance of opposites. Well done. Short and sweet.

[Spacecadet]

Sorry for the late response! Thank you for your kind words as always :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very interesting, I see the waves sweeping away the footprints as the person finding the strength to move on after a heartbreak… a short poem with powerful imagery

[Spacecadet]

I'm sorry for the late response. Thank you for reading and your perception is spot on :) Glad you like it!