Promises in the dark

Make 'em to break 'em.

                                                            Promises in the Dark

You say being half a world away won't ever change how you feel. You slide the promise over my finger before you leave

I say I love you

You say it's time to fly, you're going to live your dream

I say I love you

You say you'll come back to me, I am your home

I say I love you

You say you're tired, you can't call tonight

I say I love you

You say there's no escape, this new world is engulfing you whole

I say I love you

You say there isn't enough time, all that's left of us is fights

I say I love you

You say I don't understand you and you're running out of patience

I say I love you

You say "This  is it" as white noise invades my mind

I say, I will always love you

Author's Note

Excuse how the repetition sounds, its to enforce a point. I hope it reaches out to you because it's from the innermost parts of me :)

Reviews

[Traci]

I found nothing wrong with the repetition, it enforces the intensity of the love one feels. Unconditional love. And you should never apologize for something you have written. You write from the heart and soul, raw emotions flow on this page, making the write more powerful. "You say "This is it" as white noise invades my mind. I say, I will always love you" ...... This I felt immensely.

[Spacecadet]

I try to bare my feelings in their rawest form because I strongly believe that's the best way to make readers feel something. Writing too, is an art and I strongly believe that art doesn't have to look beautiful. It needs to be able to evoke emotion.
Thank you once again for your elaborate and insightful review, I appreciate it a lot! :)

[Traci]

I agree. Writing is a true reflection of one's soul. When the darkest depths are exposed readers connect, feeling something. I've never been one who pays attention to the technical aspect but rather the emotional connection. Write from the heart, and stay true to your unique art. It's a wonderful expression that does touch hearts and souls, as it has mine, sweet friend.

[Spacecadet]

I hope to continue to provide you with words to connect to, Traci :)
(Wonder if that's your name? :p )

[Traci]

No doubt in my mind that you will :) And yes it is...

[ur_ginger_girl]

The repetition is okay, I think I have a couple poems I've done like that. it doesn't take away from it at all.

[Spacecadet]

I'm glad you think so! Thanks for the review :)

[Michael (Letters and Li..]

Don't ever apologize for what you have written. If it invokes emotion then it is true writing. I loved the repetition. It really made this piece powerful. Good job!

[Spacecadet]

Thank you Michael, that's very kind. And I shall keep that in mind :)

[@zeewhykay]

"You say "This is it" as white noise invades my mind
I say, I will always love you"

My heart skipped a beat there... You achieved your goal with this piece. Relaying emotions onto someone else. The hardships of a long distance relationship, the useless fights that would never ensue if you could just talk face to face and hug it out. Melting in each others arms.
Thank you for this..

[Spacecadet]

Thank you for that very insightful review! It's exactly what this poem was to portray, exactly the emotions behind those words. Exactly how I feel and think and wish for.
I'm also very glad that it touched you :)

[Erik Daniel]

I like this. I think the repetition was good. Great job!

[Spacecadet]

Thanks for the review Erik! :)

[Demii]

Just read my read requests now !
This is really sweet, and sad I really liked this. :)

[Spacecadet]

Thanks! :)

[ron]

Your poem says so much, it speaks the truth of how this kind of relationship will most likely end. Some times it works...most of the time it does not. Very well written.

[Spacecadet]

Yes but it's an experience that really shapes you and prepares you for the worst..

[ron]

Yes it can.

[Stefanie Holmes]

I believe this piece needs that repetition in it to emphasize the point you want to come across to us, the readers. This was a wonderful write and full of a sorrowful emotion. I could feel the pain of the person that still loved, despite the hardships surrounding them. Awesome!

~Stefanie

[Spacecadet]

Thank you! I'm so glad the emotions could be put across just how I intended! :)

[Warr;or]

Very well written, I really enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work.

[Spacecadet]

Thank you! :)

[untitledramblings]

This perfectally shows that no matter what someone does or how they feel, your feelings never change. I like this a lot and I think you should add a little more to it. I can feel the emotion behind it too

[Spacecadet]

It's just beyond your control sometimes. Isn't it? Until time comes and washes it away :)
Thank you for the review and taking the time to read this!

[untitledramblings]

Sometimes the time doesn't even help. You're welcome :)