Before it's too late.

Another attempt to tell a story through just a few lines

A walking-talking chaos

Her eyes, the window

To the demons inside her

She was a mess

And you were intrigued

You wanted more

But the time had passed

Second chances weren't being handed out today.

Author's Note

Help me be better!

Reviews

[emmajoy]

It can't be any better! Your phrasing is cautiously detailed! This has pace, depth and - to be honest, a certain something that suggests possible past indiscretion but now, a possible closure.

[Spacecadet]

That's exactly what I was trying to convey! Your attention to detail is brilliant and I'm so humbled that you like it :) I'd love for you to check out my latest write and tell me what you think about it!

[Shaquana Adams]

This can definitely be open to interpretation. Good job :)

[Spacecadet]

Thanks for the review Shaquana! :)

[Wabbajack]

Thought provoking. There's just enough to tell the outline of the story, but not enough to leave the mind satisfied. I like how that encourages the creative juices to start flowing with speculation in an attempt fill in the rest of the plot. This style could actually be very useful in developing story ideas, as long as you continue to speculate and build onto it.

[Spacecadet]

This style is something new I came across and decided to challenge myself with. I'm glad you find it interesting! Thanks for the elaborate and insightful review! :)

[oscardelamarca]

really very good friend, very short and very well done, you have no need of many words to reach the reader, enjoy it, congratulations

[Spacecadet]

Thank you so much, that's very kind of you! I'm happy you like it :)

[Barbara Gilmer]

good thing second chances aren't all we get. or perhaps we are better for missing some of them considering where some life choices take us. keep writing. play with the words, the sounds, the thoughts and a trick or two on yourself doesn't hurt either. Barbara

[Spacecadet]

Thank you for your suggestions, they're very helpful and thanks for taking the time to read this :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

In a time capsule...this tells a story in few words...
where the reader can make the plot more...
with their own judgment...
as how they interpret the reading...

[Spacecadet]

Yes, the idea was to give the readers an idea and let them interpret it the way they wish to.
I'm glad it worked that way :)

[Giggling Star]

I'm telling you - you don't need to be better ... it seems like you just need to be more comfortable with what you write. I think this is excellent!

[Spacecadet]

I've only just started writing again recently, it's been a long gap in between so I'm just seeking reassurance and suggestions, I guess. Thanks for the encouragement, giggles! :D

[Jackson H. Harley]

Great poem, much emotion compressed into a short, well worded poem, interesting concept which can be related to by many, enjoyable read and great write :)

[Spacecadet]

Thank you for your kind words Jackson! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it :)

[Miles W.]

Very interesting. It definitely shows the danger that curiosity can sometimes have. Very good poem.

[Spacecadet]

That's an interesting message to have perceived! I'm glad you liked it :) thanks for the review