Chapter 1 Of Continent Man- A book.

Estner was a pleasant town, you could say. It had all the amenities you would often demand. It had a nice downtown area and a surrounding outer stretch of a forested mountain range and a single neighborhood that housed all of the town’s people. Estner was that small.

            This is where Norah lived. She didn’t fit into Estner like a foot into a sock; while most of the time, townsfolk gossiped each other away, Norah wouldn’t give anyone the time of day if they tried to tip their hat in her direction. If you were talking with a cluster of people and she suddenly chimed in, after a while, she’d walk away without warning, without a simple, “See ya’ later!” No. That was very uncommon of her. Everyone in town knew her character, and that was how it had been since she was five, since her parents had left and she was left in the care of Mirabelle, her housemaid, the only person in her life, and the only person she talked to.

            Norah lived in the fifth house to the left of the right-side entrance to the neighborhood. Everyone knew where it was, not many people went there. That was because of Mirabelle’s harsh personality that was enough to scare even the most rock-hard of people.

            Mirabelle was Norah’s housemaid that Norah had been left in the care of. Norah’s parents fled the town when she was five, without warning, and without reason. Mirabelle was a dark-skinned woman who was no spring chicken; she always had a profound message that could be twisted from any mere sentence that escaped your mouth. Say something that you knew she could turn, and you knew to shut up right then and there, because when she chattered, you were quiet.

            Norah was an average to tall girl, with short clipped black hair that was so messy that Mirabelle got discouraged more than enough. Norah had highly arched eyebrows which were far-flung from her eyes, and her eyelashes were the blackest slivers than anyone had ever seen on anyone else. Other boys felt threatened by her, because of her swiftness, and remarkable strength even though not a single muscle could pulsate from her meatless arms. Teachers often remarked her intuitiveness and incredible intelligence, all of them assumed it was because of what Mirabelle was teaching her. Unlike Mirabelle, Norah was pale skinned. Norah used to question Mirabelle why she was dark skinned when she, and everyone else in town was light skinned and pale. One day Mirabelle replied:

            “Well back in the times when this place was a part of a country known as the United States, we were called African-Americans, or black people. People who are light-skinned and pale, like you, were termed white. You may not comprehend the difference, but there was indeed a time, where the color of your skin made a vast difference, but you don’t have to worry about that any longer.”

            When Norah asked why not, Mirabelle replied, “Because now we live in a world where there are no worries.”

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems and feel free to input your criticism, just don't criticize for no specific reason.

Reviews

[Becca Bishop]

Pretty good so far. I like Norah's unique character. Great job at picking out really cool names!!! That's always the most difficult part for me when I try to write novels and stories. You're dialogue is pretty good so far, too, although you might want to make it flow easier. Try reading it - or having someone else read it to you - out loud so that you get a feel for what they're actually saying.

The only other thing I'd caution against is your use of description. While you're simply amazing at the way you describe things (it felt so real!) you need to make sure not to describe the whole time. Throw in some action to give readers a break.

Good job so far!! Onto the next chapter!!! *click*

[soumynona]

Thank you so much, you're input is so invaluable right now, now I know how to start from here! Thanks! :)

[JH Mae]

I like how this starts, and I like how it ends. In the middle there isn't quite enough action for my taste. The quote at the end from Mirabelle is intriguing; perhaps you can move that farther up in the story to keep people reading.