you

A poem about loving but not loving at the same time.

You.

You disgust me but at the same time I am completely and utterly infatuated.

You are rude and egoistic and contemptuous but you flutter through my thoughts so gracefully, as if possessing no flaws.

You make me think I have a chance but I know there never will be.

Maybe it’s just the idea of you that makes me so excited and exhilarated and elevated, I’m as high as a balloon full of helium.

But you embarrassed me, made me feel uncomfortable, self-conscious.

I hate you, you repulse me.

But why do you make me feel this way?

Why do I feel as if you feel the same when I know it’s not true?

Enamoured, but not really because I shouldn’t be writing this but I am.

I am.

Maybe I am infatuated, maybe I am but I still hate you and you still hate me and that will be the end of it.

Because I need to get you out, get you out of my thoughts and my memories and my mind.

Just need you to leave so I can stop thinking about-

Thinking about-

You.

Author's Note

This is something I went through in words.
Please excuse the cringe and review!

Reviews

[William Liston]

I could relate to this poem. I've been in the same situation where I love someone, but I don't know why; their repulsive actions and overall hateful nature makes them avoidable, yet at the same time, there is a desire to cling to them. Very well written.

-William Liston

[inkonpaper]

You've summed it up perfectly. When I first started writing this piece I was so sure on just spilling my feelings onto paper but then towards the end of it I was thinking "I'm insane, I shouldn't be doing this". My feelings were so mixed up and all over the place during that time. I still don't know how I feel about it right now. Thank you for the review!

[Brea]

Well darn, how did you get inside my head? Haha I've experienced this exact thing so it's nerve wracking to see it in another person's words. Great job.

[inkonpaper]

Thank you! It's crazy how other people go through the same experiences when you feel like you're the only one who has.