CHAPTER 3 “ IF ONLY YOU”

 

t was around 10:30pm when I finally finished talking to Shawna on the phone. I began to yawn, feeling sleep taking over me. I turned over to turn off the small lamp next to my bed and pulled the comforter closer to me closing my eyes.

*******Emma's Dream*******

Again I was in the ballroom. This time when I looked around I did see some familiar faces. One in particular was Ava Valiente. Her brunette hair was pulled back in a half ponytail with long ringlets. She wore a beautiful dark green ballgown that came off both her shoulders trimmed with lace. Like Scarlet O'Hara wore in Gone With the Wind. Her porcelain skin gave way to ruby red lips and pink cheeks. Her eyes sparkled a hazel color. Again like Noah, the only thing I could see a change in was her eyes and her hair style.

Ava twirled so gracefully over to my side.“Oh Emma darling, I am so glad you finally made it!” Ava gleamed giving me a small hug. “let us go and socialize. There are many gentlemen callers tonight.”She too had a British accent.

I stood there looking at her, confused. I have had this reoccurring dream for months before they Valientes moved here. Never once was Ava or the others there. She looked at me brightly, her hazel eyes looking at me with a sweet expression grabbing my wrist gently and moving me into the opposite direction of where I was standing.

I shook my head and followed her lead. I might as well see how this dream goes. Her grip on my wrist let go as we approached a small group of men in a circle talking amongst themselves. They were speaking of politics.

She pointed to one man who stood about six feet, well over both our little frames. I could not see his face but saw the back of his head. His hair was ash blond, like Olin. “That is Olin Barker. He is a manager for the bank of England. He is so handsome.” Ava's face lit up. She looked so in love with him.

'I do say Miss Ava, are you in love with Mr. Barker.” I giggled slightly.

Ava hit my arm lightly with her hand smiling shyly.”Oh Emma, I am so smitten over him. I wonder if he would ever be interested in me?” She looked a little sad.

“Ava, out of ever woman in here, I believe he would only see you.” I tried to reassure her and I believed it. In real time, he seemed like her cared for her deeply.

Relief washed over her beautiful small face. Before even realizing the group of men had turned there attention toward me and Ava. All of them were handsome. All around the same age,18 or 19 ears old, 20 at the most. Among the handsome gentleman stood Noah. He was in the same outfit he always wears in my dreams.

I watched Olin's face light up when he looked in Ava's direction. She looked down with her shy smile. He extended his hand to her and she graciously took it. They moved to the center of the ballroom and began to dance.

I was left there standing meeting Noah's beautiful face, ignoring the other gentlemen that stood there.

“Well Mr. Valiente, are you going to dance with me or should I ask one of these other handsome men to escort me to the floor?” I was very brave and outgoing in my dreams. I felt no fear of rejection because never once in any of my dreams had Noah rejected me.

He gave me that glorious smile of his and bowed his head extending his own hand for me to accept. I placed my tiny hand in his and we moved to the center of the dance floor. He placed one hand on my waist and the other holding my left hand. I positioned my free hand onto his shoulder as we waltzed across the floor.

“You are beautiful Emma, just like you always are.” His deep British accent coming through.

“You're just as handsome.” I said smiling back at him.

“We should hurry this dance, so we make it to the balcony on time for a change.” His smile growing wider.

I was a little taken back by his remark, for this was a dream. That meant this was happening for the first time or was it? “Have you been spying on me Mr. Valiente.” I tried to sound sly.

He chuckled darkly and then spoke. “Haven't we had this dance before? So many times before. You always amaze me with that dress and that breathtaking face. I always wonder how it will end, but we never get to the end because you always wake up, don't you?”

At that very moment I just froze, looking at him in disbelief of his words. I dropped my hand from his staring in shock. “We must keep dancing or people will start wondering.” He whispered softly trying to bring my hands back in their positions.

I pushed him away, scared for some reason and ran to the closest door I could find. I ran passed Ava and Olin seeing their surprised faces. When I reached the door it was the one that led out to the balcony.

That damn balcony.

I found myself in the same position as I always do in this god forsaken dream! I faced toward the city lights while Noah came behind me pressing his muscular body close behind me.

I don't know what I was afraid of, it was a dream, a fantasy. Yet here I stood tears forming in my eyes. I moved my hands over my eyes to hide the tears that were falling. Noah wrapped his strong arms around me.

“Please I do not want you to cry Ms. Clark. I did not mean to make you weep. Please Emma, look at me.” His voice was pleading.

I could not turn to face him. I didn't want him to see I was scared, that I was weak. But why was I crying? I remembered now. I knew how this dream would end. No kiss, no Noah.

“I can't keep having this dream Noah. Its killing me. I never know how it ends. Yet I can't stop dreaming of you, like this. Why?” The tears just falling to the ground like rain.

He took his arms and turned me to face him, embracing me into his chest. I hugged onto him tightly. Burying my face into his chest. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back with his hands. In every dream, the kiss happens in a slow motion. He looks me deep in my eyes and places his hands to my face. Well maybe that wasn't necessary this time. I have had that moment with him millions of times. I needed to get the kiss over with before the dream ended.

So I looked up at him and his face looked tortured. The same expression he had this afternoon by the car. I couldn't bare it anymore. I leaned up to him and kissed him passionately. He drew my kiss in with great force tightening his arms around me pulling me closer and closer into him. His lips were soft and

full. They tasted like sweet cherries. I felt my entire body tingle from head to toe. Like an electric shock.

Finally he pushed my shoulders back to look me in my face. I tried to go back for another kiss, but he put his arms out in front causing a gap between us.

“That was better than I ever could imagine.” His face not smiling, more puzzled. Has I began to speak I felt a cold hand touch my face.

*************************

I nearly jumped ten feet of my bed when I realized Mom was the cold hand. “OH MY GOD MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!” I screamed out in shock.

'I'm sorry Em, but you were tossing and turning so violently, I thought you were having a bad dream.”

She cooed rubbing my head.

Little did she know it was far from any nightmare. “You were crying Emma” As she wiped the tears from my face. I had no idea what these dreams were trying to tell me, but I needed to found out.

It was Friday March 21. Today was the last day of school for the next 2 weeks because of Spring break. I had to build up some courage and speak to Noah. A good excuse was to thank him again for yesterday. We sat in 1^st period together, it would be the perfect opportunity. As I walked into the building I looked in the spot where he normally parked his car, it wasn't there . Maybe he is running late, I will see him in 20 minutes.

But 1^st period came and went. He didn't show. Even his family wasn't there. I was so conflicted. The one day I really was hoping to speak to him and he was a no show. I would have to wait two whole weeks to speak to him again. What if he went back to New York?

I don't know what came over me but I went to the office to see if I could find out why they were not there. “Mrs. Porter, um do you know why Noah Valiente isn't in school today?” I asked unsure of myself.

She smiled seductively for a minute, making me very uncomfortable and shook it off just as fast. “Oh Mr. Valiente's parents decided to get an early start on the break. He will be back when school comes back into session. I hope.” Again with that seductive tone.

“Okay, thank you.” I walked out of the office as fast as I could. I would have to wait until after break to talk to him,, maybe I was losing my mind. Its just a dream, it doesn't mean anything.

A few days had passed since vacation had started. Me, Drew, and Shawna had made plans to spend a few days with my dad in Sun Piarie. We were going to hang out in Madison and see a concert. Plus seeing my dad was always a highlight.

I missed my dad, I didn't even realize how much. It had been a few months since I last saw him. He was busy with work. He was a mountain ranger.

It was around 6:45pm when we arrived at my dad's house. His house had white siding on the outside with a red front door. His driveway was like dirt and rocks. He had two big trees on each side of the two story house. Dad came walking out of the house and met us at my car.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me picking me off the ground. Dad was about 6 foot himself and he was in good shape. “Oh my baby girl! I missed you Emmie.”

He put me back down on the ground and I caught my breath. “Wow, dad I missed you too.”

He just laughed at me and hugged the other two. We all made our way into the house. The house was very roomy, considering dad lived alone. It had a large kitchen, dining room and living room. Two full baths and four bedrooms. Mom and me lived here with dad for a short time before they divorced. I guess they both thought it would last.

My room was on the 2^nd floor toward the front of the house, while the other rooms all faced the back. Dad had fixed some spaghetti for us and we all sat in the kitchen chatting about school. Drew and dad talk about sports mostly.

By the time we finished up with dinner and getting settled it was around 10pm. I was exhausted from the driving and unpacking, so I said goodnight to everyone and settled into bed. The dream came back, but it started in a different place this time.

******Emma's Dream*******

I was outside and it was late. The sky was pitch black and the roads were filled with dim lights. I stood in front of a book store, Delia's Books. I caught my reflection in the shop window. I had on a black coachman hat with my hair pulled back. I had on a black outing jacket with a white ruffled shirt underneath. I wore a long crimson colored skirt with black Victorian boots.

The night air was chilly, so I wondered what season I was in. I had never seen this place before, but I recognized the tall building from my other dream, it was the city.. There was a man closing up his own shop and I tapped him gently on the shoulder.

“Excuse me Sir, could you tell me what day it is?” I asked looking for answer.

The older gentle, who's hair had gone gray and his thick mustache turned slowly to me. When he saw my face, his smile brightened.

“Well Ms. Clark, how do you do? Why are you out by yourself. You should know better than to wander about at this time of day.” He spoke with a thicker British accent than Noah or Ava.

I repeated my question again.

“Well Ms. Clark it is the 3^rd of March.” He smiled about to turn to pulling down the curtain of his shop.

“What is the year kind sir.” I asked innocently.

Without turning from what he was doing. “1837 my dear.” I was stunned by what he had said.

I stood there looking down trying to figure out what to do next.

“Ms. Clark, are you Okay? Let me bring you home. There” Pointing to a horse driven carriage. “That's my ride, please have a seat until I'm done closing up.” He smiled once again at me.

I shook my head in agreement and the driver helped me into the carriage. Moments later the nice older gentlemen stepped inside. He instructed the driver to go and we were off slowly done the road.

The ride seemed to take about 20 minutes as I watched outside the carriage window. The city had faded about a mile ago and we were heading into a wooded area. When the carriage finally came to a stop, we were in front of a huge beautiful Victorian home.

The driver stepped down off the top of the carriage, holding his hand out to help me out. The older gentlemen stepped out behind us and a woman walked out of the house to greet us.

She was in her middle thirties at least, but she was lovely. She had red hair that was pulled back in a messy bun with curls popping out all over. She was slim and wore a off white dress that was fitted to her curves. It was lacy with long sleeves and a high neckline. She came over to me and wrapped her arms tightly around me.

“Oh thank goodness you are alright Emma dear. You had me so worried!” She had a lovely Irish accent. I stood there confused and unsure.”oh thank you Mr. Weathering for bringing her home. I hope it caused you no trouble.”

“None at all Lola. I think she may be a bit ill though, you may want to lay her down.”He tilted his hat and stepped back into his carriage. Lola escorted me to the house as I turned watching the carriage pull away.

We stepped into the house with its red velvet walls and dark mahogany floors. The was a large staircase that spiraled trimmed with gold. Lola motioned for me to come into the room next to the stairs. It looked to be a living room. It was a light blue with velvet couches and chairs. There was a white stone fireplace in the back with a chest board set in front.

Lola pointed to my hat and I slipped it off my head and handed it to her while smoothing out my hair. I looked around the elegant room. “Please Emma dear, sit.” She said sweetly pointing to the couch.

I flattened out my skirt and took my place on the soft velvet couch. Still taking in the site around me.

Lola began to giggle looking at me. “You look like you have never been here before. Mr. Weathering was right, you must be ill.” She said while placing her hand on my forehead. You have no fever though.” Maybe you just need some sleep.”

“NO!” I said louder than intended. “I mean, I'm not tired.”

“Alright dear. How about we have some dinner then. Perhaps your hungry?” She looked at me with a motherly glare.

“Who's house is this?” I asked

Lola looked at me with a perplex expression. “Emma, you don't even know your own home. I think I need to call Gammon to look at you.”

I could not function at the moment. My senses were dimming and I was feeling drained. This place was new for me and maybe if I asked for certain details, I would get answer to piece it all together. “Where is Noah?” I asked hoping she knew.

Her face looked confused and then she began to talk. “He will be home short--” and with that he came in the door accompanied by two other men.

They were all dressed in wool coats with black top hats. Dressed in casual Victorian wear. There were all rather tall, the oldest looking one, was much taller than Noah. He had blonde hair with those piercing blue eyes like Noah's. Lola rushed over to him, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Oh Gammon, I am so glad you are here. Emma is acting a bit, off.” She tried to whisper to him.

The other man was very husky built, not fat, but solid. He looked like a football player. He had black short hair with almost clear gray eyes. His face was unbelievable handsome, but no comparison to my Noah.

Noah took off his hat and placed it on the coat rake along with his jacket. He smile brightly in my direction. He walked over to me and kissed my lips gently wrapping me into a tight embrace.

“Oh mother, I'm sure Emma is fine. She probably just missed me so much while I been gone, she is delirious.” He winked then smiled at me.

So things were fitting together slowly now. Lola and Gammon must be Noah's parents, though they didn't look old enough to be.

“just let your father look at her please? It would make me feel better.” Lola's sweet voice would be hard to say no to.

“Lola my beautiful wife, I'm sure she is fine. Let's leave them.” Gammon had a British accent also. Gammon wrapped his arm around Lola and they walked out of the room.

The other man came to where me and Noah were standing giving me a dazzling smile. “Well you look beautiful regardless if you are losing your mind Emma.” He chuckled loudly. He like all the rest was British.

“Okay can you all stop giving my fiancee a death sentence. Baron, go check on Unity, I know she is probably expecting you.” Noah pointed to the stairs. Baron smiled and proceeded up the stairs.

As soon as everyone was out of sight Noah faced me pushing me into the wall placing his hands on both sides of my head, leaning them on the wall. I looked at him with panic in my face and he leaned down kissing me hard and passionately. My instinct reaction was to kiss him back. This kiss was better than the one on the balcony. This kiss was full of lust and desire.

Noah then broke the kiss and stared into my eyes. I stared at him in a daze, feeling out of breath. My chest was heaving. He then placed his hands on my arms and swiftly changed our position. He now was leaning against the wall and I was in front of him. I grabbed his face and kissed him with my best effort. He grabbed my waist pulling me into him, trying to remove my shirt.

When I realized where this was going I pulled away. Tried to pull me back, but I moved further away.

“Explain what is going on.” I asked pleading with him for answers.

His expression went from lustful to exhausted. “Emma. You need to figure that out. When you remember, it will be clear. Then you will always be mine.”

I looked at him bewildered. What did he mean by that? That was not answer, but before I could argue it, someone began saying my name.

*****END OF DREAM*****