Metal cage

A small piece of shriveled grace

A flap of hanging skin her face

A  skein of tightly pulled gray hair

Deep wrinkles dug and piled high

Leather traveling bags under each eye 

Shoulders a clothes hanger 

on which hung a thread bear sweater with a hole

Revealing a worn, equally thread bear body

Her hands, more bones than flesh 

painted with blue bulging lines

Rusted voice, thin worn with age

 A noble spirit shuffles within a metal cage

Reviews

[nadia dmitri]

Wow, haunting and beautiful. The human body is so inspiring and sobering. Great work!!!!!

[Soren]

Thank you, Nadia. I appreciate your review and support. It is most valued.

[D. Mansfield]

Very descriptive dwitgoyr alit of words nice writing

[Soren]

Thank you for your kind words of support they are appreciated

[Gee]

This takes me back to 2020 and visits to the care home that mum was living in, was like moving amongst the living dead, God's waiting room, with all biding their time til they popped off to somewhere more peaceful and pain free, mum finally leaving there on 09/04/2020.
Top writing Soren

[Soren]

Thank you so much for your generous words they are deeply valued

[Pryde Foltz]

Wonderful piece of metaphor. You paint a very strong picture of this aging woman and implated sympathy and admiration for her endurance. Wonderful write.

[Soren]

Thank you so much for your review. Most kind words of support they are deeply appreciated.

[Marie]

Magnificent! Love the title of the poem! It is SO true that our body becomes a cage to contain all our bones as our well built body once did, but as we age we get thinner, with lots of wrinkles and we become weary and tired. You have encapsulated everything that old age gifts us with, the price we pay for growing old. Sublimely penned, superb visual detail and a very even and effortless flow to the poem. A metaphorical gem which I so enjoyed reading and I thank you for sharing, dear Soren...

[Soren]

A most beautiful review Marie I thank you for that and for your interpretation of the poem as well. I am most grateful for your attention and support.

[Marie]

Most welcome always, dear Soren. Thank you for your too kind words...

[Jeyanthi]

As turning they even stop looking at how they even look like.... we must not anything for granted especially our body when we are young....
The deep... rusted voice says they quit lost the interaction... the soul can prevail if our body is still as metal cage...

[Soren]

Yesterday I saw an old woman walking with a walker. The walker appeared to be a metal cage surrounding her, and as she shuffled along, I paid particular attention to the weight of her wrinkles, weighing her down toward the pavement. Thank you so much for your reading this poem for your kind comments they are appreciated.

[Jeyanthi]

I can highly relate this writing to so many people I come across daily in my life... my grandma 👵 she is old 84, but she stays alone in her native place, birth place, surrounded by her siblings and relatives but not of her family, we all got settle away from the native with secure job and home, she did all her duties, she and my granpa only took care all of us and my cousins...when our parents were working.... but now she has a place of her own, my grandpa built a home for her... though they fight a lot, one can't fight like them, i seen it with my eyes everyday... but the home they built at last ...t's like palace to her, she has complex in leg nerves due to our cow stamped on my grandma foot but walking with a stick, daily oil massage the leg on her own, she will not let anyone touch or do massage.. i tried many times... she had many operations nearly 4.. but still she is woman of will... guardian angel... we can't near her even with a ladder... the home is surrounded with many beautiful flowering plants trees... and the place has a pond by walkable distance... she grow up by reading many book from library as their half of the house was converted into library in that place... she had farm life, town life and back to peaceful life... :)
But my mom she is suffering from arthritis, I'm so lucky to live with her... I will try to take care, no matter what.. :)

Thanks for sharing your poem capturing the moment of beautiful fading picture in the lines.. and about the people you seen... they might be moved with your writing in some way.. :) the thread bear body the metaphor I can compare it as a bearing body of pain love and what not.. :)
Have a nice day dear Sir...

[Jeyanthi]

She is still a seamstress 👵.. works in sewing machine..

[Soren]

Thank you so much for your comment. It is deeply appreciated and fits well into the intent of the poem.

[Arundass TP]

A strong description of old age. Strong poem. Loved it

[Soren]

Thank you, Arumdass I appreciate your visit reading of this poem as well as your interpretation

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

this unflinching look at old age was distressing. while poets often make aging sound like a beautiful or natural thing, there is a lot of hardship that goes with a weaker, frailer body. that was so with my relatives and it is hard to imagine that they were once young like us. but the final line redeems our hope. even when we are old, we are still in the posession of a noble spirit. within a metal cage, but we must serve our sentence 'til the end before we are set free.

[Soren]

Ern thank you so much for reading this poem and for your insight. Your comments are most welcome and your support is most helpful.

[Chris Shaw]

This reminds me of the poor souls I see each week when I visit my aunt in a residential home for people with dementia. They are in a cage with no release. Most of them have no visitors. I make a point of talking to them. Some just want a hug. Touching piece which has other interpretations. All equally sad.
Nicely composed Soren. Great description.

Chris

[Soren]

Thank you, Chris for the read for the touching and insightful comments. They are appreciated.