A leaf

A leaf lays on the ground, remnant of the past

now dried rust brown from majestic heights cast

once green it kissed the breeze, danced in the sun

life's design spent, it falls broken and done

A map now outdated, hollow lines mark its leather skin

in a nap belated, painted dark, now frail and thin

sleeping on earth's cradle, it rocks throughout the night

served by rain's ladle, no longer thirsty to drink the light

Born from the breath of spring to its native branch did cling

shading all until the fall, its veins life did bring

buried in an unmarked grave, it returns to the dirt

giving back what it had taken, to awaken the inert

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I enjoyed the read but I think I'd prefer the word "clinging" to "did cling" as it has the same meaning without sounding like a forced rhyme. It's just a pet peeve of mine when reading verse; did cling, did go, did say etc. I prefer "clinging", "went" and "said" instead. But I really like the body of the poem and its content. Again, it's simply a personal literary thorn to me. Other opinions may not agree with mine. But I'm here to post honest reviews and not sugar coat my reflections to soothe egos. I respect that from my fellow poets and authors as well. I'm still giving the poem a rating of 100% though. Hope to see it in the top writing here. Thank you for sharing, F.

[Soren]

Thanks Fabian I both admire and welcome your candidness. Hearing honest and constructive criticism is the only way to learn. Most reviewers are too cautious to offer criticism at all. It is always nice to hear kind words of encouragement but I'm old enough to know that there is more fluff than truth in most. I do appreciate your kind and honest approach my friend

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I consider you a very good poet and a good friend on this site. There's an old Biblical proverb that says, "The wounds of a friend are faithful but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" Proverbs 27:6 I had to look it up. ;)

[Marie]

Wow! What an amazing Autumn allegorical poetic gem, dear Soren.
The leaf once in the Springtime of its life kissed the breeze and danced in the warm sun, and it is now rust coloured and separated from its Mother Tree in the Autumn of its life.
It has grown frail and thin as a human being would in the Winter of their lifetime too. The rain is no longer needed because the leaf is no longer part of the Mother Tree and is literally dying. The leaf stayed for as long as it could on the branch, but now it returns to the earth to give a little back for what it had taken, enrich the soil and perhaps, a new little tree will come in its place.
The lifetime of the leaf reminds me so much of a human lifetime too, Soren. Poignant, but the little leaf and its life are so beautifully depicted in this sublime write. Wonderful work, dear poet! Well done! Kudos well deserved! Thank you for sharing, dear friend. So enjoyed reading!

[Soren]

Thank you Marie for the most gracious words they are appreciated. I can't help seeing cycles of life all around me, nature is so grand.

[Marie]

Dear Soren, my words don't do justice to your wondrous poem, but I am so happy that you accept them. Yes, I agree, life's cycles are all around us if we are aware of and open to them. Nature is truly so grand, my dear friend. Thank you, dear Soren. I wish you a very nice evening to enjoy...

[berenongur]

I really don't know what to say but it's absolutely perfect. The metaphors, the style of narration, the intensity. I'm serious man, I'd like to write paragraphs for your poem but I can't find the words for it, it's really, really beautiful. Just I'm wishing you the success, and best

[Soren]

I thank you most kindly for your most generous and humbling review it is most appreciated.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and yet so colorful...like how we look at a person in the autumn of his or her life and see the splendor, maybe too little, too late.
j.

[Soren]

Thank you Jacob for the read and comment that is right on target.

[fallon]

Oh a perfect fall poem. The brief life of a leaf. very beautiful descriptions. The leaf as a map, the way it clings to its branch and then falls when no longer of use but I like how you add that in death it still gives life. Not many leaves change in Louisiana but I think you just inspired me to take a walk outside now and pretend like the air is cool and leaves are falling. Fall in my favorite time of the year.

[Soren]

Thanks Fallon for the review and comment it is most appreciated

[Wingate Construction]

https://www.wingateconstruction.com/

[Soren]

Thank you very much