No good deed goes unpunished

Some years ago I moved, ya know

and needed to borrow a truck

I told a friend my story and asked to borrow his lorry

to me he said “You're in luck”

“When you're done, don't bother me son,

just leave the truck in my drive”

“Put the key under the door mat, I'll know where it's at,

I have to be up by five”

After working all day, to my dismay,

it was as black as my mood when I was done

Having never been to his address, I found it none the less,

left the key and home did run

The next morning bright, I called to see if all was right

“What did you do to me?” he said

In a voice of dismay I heard him say

“it's good you weren't here or you'd be dead”

He said he was appalled when the police had called

saying his stolen vehicle had been recovered

looking to his lawn he saw the truck was gone

he thought “my key some thief has discovered”

“No time for a cup I'll go pick it up”

He went to the house where the police said it was at

A man came out and started to shout

He was wildly swinging a bat!

“This morning when I came home, instead of my wife alone,

I found this parked in my drive, right there!”

Asked “where's the jerk?” she said “No one's been here while you're at work”

“But I knew she was having an affair”

“I went to the truck and from the glove box did pluck

the registration”

“I could see, you live only a block from me

how would you like to suffer castration?”

Backing away my friend began to say

“I can explain if you'll put down that bat”

“Confused in the dark, a friend did it park”

For proof, Thank God! The key was under the door mat