~Aprés Breath

Soul floating in the uncertain mist,
Inviting fading margin of death....
There... evaporates the lively zest,
Condensing clouds of my finite breath...

Piercing through the orange hue,
I am taken through and through...
Blue light blinds my unseen eyes...
My soul breaks all the morbid ties...

The fear of losing deceptive prosperity;
Stinking Hypocrisy of the sinful divinity...
Unquenchable thirst for pleasures;
Ever burning sense of rancour...

All ebbs away.....
All ebbs away.....
No retributing hell!
No heaven to dwell!!
Just......Distant tolling of bells.....
Where obscure shadows travel...

Author's Note

Inspired by Review of Elisa Laura's review on Joshua the death dealer's page. Ignited by Brain storming discussion with Mayank on this topic.. This is just a part. More is on the way... :) enjoy

Reviews

[Stephen]

Very deep. It seems you have written in this poem certian breaking away of earthly ties and then having a journey towards Heaven or Hell. But it is kind of left in limbo, like purgatory. The spiritual realm is something that we no not much about, except for what has been illustrated in God's Word and from other attempts from mindkind throughout the generations to describe something beyond the now. We will all find out for sure when it happens. But very thought provoking. I appreciate you sharing this.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words..
"The fear of losing deceptive prosperity;
Stinking Hypocrisy of the sinful divinity...
Unquenchable thirst for pleasures;
Ever burning sense of rancour... "
The words create places and visions. I love the way you use the language. Making each poem a field trip into good world. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Kenneth Nicholas Lowe]

By far the best writ, i have read on this forum....Very curious to know about Elisa's review...

[Sophy Freebirds]

thank you so much Kenneth

[kublakhan27]

I would have sworn I reviewed this one, but I've been terribly scatterbrained as of late, feeling very much like the speaker of this poem actually, but when do I not feel like that? ;P Ye, I seem to be perpetually floating on that uncertain mist, waiting for the condensing clouds to dissipate and liberate my finite breath...I travelled through this piece, riveted by the yearning for direction that seems to pervade it, and wondering what side I'll end up on when all is said and done....this is an evocative piece of soul-searching that carries a lot of intensity but also also seems to consider an existential possibility...you've offered me much to think about here my friend, and I continue to think about about it long after the first reading...you always have a way of speaking to me Sophy...splendid work :)

[Sophy Freebirds]

Thank you so much Steve :) i am so overwhelmed i could provide you food for thought.

[kublakhan27]

You always do my friend :)

[anne]

Piercing through the orange hue,
I am taken through and through
Blue light blinds my unseen eyes
My soul breaks all the morbid ties.......... no words wise Sophy...great job... :))

[Sophy Freebirds]

Thank you so much Anne ;)

[Christopher Robin]

Like the fracturing of a mind this poem fractures into less and less couplet-driven perfection and descends into perfect prosaic madness. The deliberate feel is heavy-handed, but no less appreciated. I love that you know enough about poetry to play with it properly, a feat rarely managed on this site. So hats off, looking forward to what spawns next...

-Robin

[Sophy Freebirds]

Whoa!! Thank you so much Chris. :)

[Lyan]

Lots of great imagery here. definitely can see there's a struggle between life and death.

[Sophy Freebirds]

Thanks Lyana

[Matching Socks]

Love this Sophy, a dark topic, pulling towards it's final dark chapter.

Still hungry for more...

[Sophy Freebirds]

On the way dearheart :)thank you so much.

[Matching Socks]

Looking forward to it!

[Ashira Macy]

You should do the ice bucket challenge, because it looks like you are on fire! =P But in all seriousness, this was totally awesome. The ending was so chilling because you deny that there is a heaven or hell to go to when we die, perhaps just purgatory, perhaps our souls just fade away into nothing as our bodies turn to dust. Keep this up girl, you really are all shades of fantastic!

[Sophy Freebirds]

This was a freakin' awesome review girl :) thank you so much. Really very new here so have a li'l idea about the contests :p.. hope you can inform me about it.

[Ashira Macy]

Oh, the ice bucket challenge is this thing that went viral where people dump buckets of water over their heads to raise money for ALS. I was trying to be witty. =P But you should put this in a contest. If any come up about death or something of the sort. Maybe I will make a contest like that.

[Sophy Freebirds]

Lol... girl you know how slow to learn i am. :p. Speaking metaphorically yea i am a furnace now .. hah

[Tom]

What lies beyond is the insatiable intrigue that captivates the yearning soul !

A wonderful darkly atmospheric tale here Sophy, almost verging on the supernatural enigma !

[Sophy Freebirds]

I am quite obssessed with death now.. lol. Thank you Tom