Trapped

I try to get out, I’m looking past everyone’s eyes, I look around to see if I see you.

 

I try to get out, I try to breathe, but I can’t and I wonder what’s wrong with me?

 

and I see everyone looking my way like if I’m going crazy. They can see I’m trapped,

 

They can see I’m dying inside, they can see it in my eyes.

 

But why?

 

I try to get out of this locked door, I try too see but everything is a blur.

 

And I ask God why he’s putting me through this?

 

And I ask him and he does not answer me.

 

and then I try to get out again because I’m trapped.

 

trapped in a door and I try to see but everything is a blur.

 

and I ask myself ” what’s wrong “

 

and my answer is always unknown

 

and I can’t seem to get out of this trapped door.

 

and I can’t stop having all of these thoughts, and I can’t I just cannot…

 

and all my eyes see is a blur

 

Because I’m trapped , and I can’t seem to open this door♥

Author's Note

what do you think?

Reviews

[MissWordSmith]

sounds like a recurring dream you know. the kind where you always reach a certain point but never beyond that. though this was one of the most unique poems I have read here, i will say that it worked. I don't know how, it just did.
the feeling of being trapped and so weak and unsure came out very, very well.
I'd say this was a daring, and unique write that turned out better than I would have imagined.
kudos on being original!

[zainul]

I feel you are at least a little relieved after you wrote and posted this poem.
The world now knows your problem.Keep on sharing.
The suggestions/solutions will give strength to live on.
Well done.

[Camille Corbett]

Okay, so you're trapped, cool. Decent writing, creepy idea.

[Daydreamer54]

Wow, i can feel the panic rising and the distress. Great poem! :)

[The Last Poetic King]

I like how you involve a door in this piece. A door can be used to describe many things. Good work here.

[Fallen Angel]

good poem! i could feel the emotion!

[Emily]

I agree with 'not your typical girl' this seems like a repetitive bad dream in which you're just so trapped that things aren't making sense.
I also, feel like this is very much the story of the journey your character needs to take. It is a journey to figure out what is going on and where it is going from here.
This is a stong piece with the repetition and the rhetorical questions. Very nicely done. If you are at all interested in a fantastic book about heading through a journey, there is a book (though it seems religious it really is very open) but it is called The Shack, and it is about a man's journey to figure out himself and his life. It is amazing and really eye opening when you're feeling trapped. :-) Best of luck and wonderful write.

[SamBug]

I could feel the struggle in this story. YOu did very well.

[GunMetal]

"not your typical girl" is absolutely right. The turmoil in this piece is evident, and it shows prominently and profoundly.

There was one line though, "and then I try to get out again because I’m trapped." Seemed redundant to me, and it disrupted the flow a bit.

Anyway, good job. Keep writing.

[November_Rain]

This is a really cool poem!! Keep it up

[DarkLovingRaven]

Oh my stars... I know that feeling so well... This is exactly how i feel at times... Well done.