i like the cadence of this piece, it seems to sing itself to the reader...effortlessly and with graceful ease. nicely worded and cleverly penned, well done.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much Quin!:) I'm glad you like it!!:)
The way this poem flowed, it reminded me of a feather floating to the ground with each line. I enjoyed reading this, and it almost put me in a dream-like state, however, there is also truth in your words and there were raw emotions, too.
The peaceful intensity in this really reflects my mood at the moment this was penned, I'm glad you l.. read moreThe peaceful intensity in this really reflects my mood at the moment this was penned, I'm glad you liked it:) thank you for your kind review:)
Hi Marie
An excellent piece. Dont think chase and vase go together except visually. Maybe "put me in my place" instead?
follow me all desire could be follow my desire?
bring your heart love again could be bring your hearts love back again?
Easier to criticize than do
you impress me
regards
terry
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thanks for the advice, however, those lines i don't believe go along with the point in this piece
An ambiguous poem, nice work. I like the rhyme scheme.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thank you:) i am so glad you liked it:)
11 Years Ago
It is another of your great works. There are not many, if any at all, of your writings I do not like.. read moreIt is another of your great works. There are not many, if any at all, of your writings I do not like.
I think this is a sublime piece. It has a natural flow and soft intensity. I like some of the imagery as well. With that said, there are a few places where you lost the rhyme scheme, I couldn't actually figure out format you were using. Some poets do get complicated in their rhyming, but when you start off with AABB in the first two stanzas and then switch to ABCC in the third stanza it sort of throws things off a bit for me. Overall, though, I think a little edit and this one could be quite nice.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thank you for the advice:) i'm glad you liked it:) thanks for the review:)
and i'll be still
bent to your will
the words for me read so quick with a touch of sun in them
like a good read just fulfilling
thank you for sharing
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much I tried to bring elements from my God and the wind in this so I'm glad it came tog.. read moreThank you so much I tried to bring elements from my God and the wind in this so I'm glad it came together in a pleasing way:) thank you fr te review:)
I have been away from this site for a while, hoping to get back into the swing of things. I recently turned 18 and have rediscovered my muse. If you wish to befriend me, please constructively review m.. more..