a mask again

hiding in myself

please don't let them notice

place my pain upon the shelf

i fade into this masks mist

where on Earth can i run

i'm trapped within this shroud

i long to feel the rising sun

but i'm lost inside the crowd

they all laugh and they all stare

i don't know how long i'll last

i shrink behind a glare

lost and hurt inside the past

take my hand don't let me cry

sing my heart its lullaby

here inside this place i'm falling

spinning round, no ones calling

fight the tears, fight the pain

puting up my mask again

make them laugh, don't tear them down

can't let any se my frown

hide behind a Golden mask

place a flaw so no one sees

play so well forget my task

play so well forget this isn't me

do they see and just ignore

are they all simply blind

someone care, i implore

here i am losing my mind

he sees the mask i hide behind

should i run should i hide?

why don't others see in kind?

jesus lord, please be my guide

Reviews

[SeaBreezes]

It was very, very good....PERFECT!!

[marie]

aww:) thank you so much:)

[Ashley G.]

I'm being childish but I love that it rhymes and the story and images I come up with while reading it. =3 Really good job!

[marie]

thank you, if you don't mind, but im curious as to what YOU see when you read this?

[Ashley G.]

Even though the poem could mean other things, I see someone wearing a gold mask trying to entertain others even though they themselves are unhappy...

[marie]

hmm, yes i can see that,sounds like a good story:)

[CreativeStroke]

"i fade into this masks mist" You need an apostrophe in the word 'masks' in this line.
I loved the message in this piece Marie! Great job!

[marie]

Thank you!!:) I'm glad you liked it!!:)

[Nick.B]

Great work with this one, seems more as a song, love it :D

[marie]

It actually started as a little tune I was humming:)lol

[Ethale Captor]

Excellent work. Your poetry is escalating to an incredible level.

[marie]

Thank you so much ethale:)

[Ethale Captor]

You are quite welcome.

[marie]

so what do you think of it...can we stick with the one through ten thing?

[Ethale Captor]

8/10.

[marie]

how could i improve it?

[Ethale Captor]

Grammar, capitalization, basics. Other than that, the voice is excellent.

[StayAnchored]

Great job! I enjoyed reading it :)

[marie]

Thank you so much I'm so glad you liked it:)

[StayAnchored]

Of course! :D

[marie]

:)