free

it seems that

i'm all alone

in this forever stone

you call my heart

could i be free 

when you walk next to me 

could i let this pain go

as we shine

maybe one day 

maybe someday

we could be free 

i guess now

with that frown on your brow

you can save me

if even somehow

we'll run away together

we'll shine brighter than the sun, 

and see the stars

as you come

and say you love me

my precious lady

do you see

this longing in my eyes

behind my forever disguise 

tear it away

and tell me we will run and play

if not now and today

soon and running  away

we'll find somewhere

and be

forever lost in our eternity

our perfect home painted for you and me

will then we finally be free

and if not 

then we will run and find the ones 

who keep us lost today

no they will not have a hold over you and me 

will then we finally be free

just say the word

just screen the call

no more of our blood will fall

the scars will fade

our lives remade

maybe then we'll be 

free

Reviews

[RavenWells]

This is a beautiful poem, though I would suggest going in and capitalizing all the I's. It made it hard to focus on the beauty of he words when little things like that kept popping out at me. Besides that, great job :)

[marie]

Thanks for the review:)

[PurpleQuartz]

There is so much emotion in this! You did a great job at writing it!

[marie]

thank you :)

[PurpleQuartz]

You're welcome : )

[StayAnchored]

I think you did an amazing job on this poem!
Ps. Since you always read my poems I decided to return the favor ;)

[marie]

lol thanks :) its a real honor:)

[.]

This is a very wonderful write. It has the aspiration to be free and emotion woven into every point. Great job! Congratulations on your placement in the contest

[marie]

Thank you!! :)

[}Echo{]

This is really great. It shows great emotion and feeling, I love it! :)

[marie]

thank you hope you enjoy the rest of my work as well :)

[Ethale Captor]

Maybe.

[marie]

:)

[Phillitup]

this emits confidence and power...well-written
:)

[marie]

Thank you:)

[ms. barrie]

powerfully emotive, this is a great write, describing (at least how i see it?) - wishing, hoping, these two people hopes, wants, how much the mean to each other if only to save both of themselves from whatever fate is dealing handing them in their life. sorry if this doesn't make sense. nevertheless, this is a great write, pen on

[marie]

i understand clearly what you are trying to say, it was what i was trying to portray thanks for the review :)

[ms. barrie]

you welcome :)

[marie]

:)

[luviva]

very emotional...

[marie]

it is... hopefully it will reach the right ears

[Tarry Franck]

Very well done - Great job

[marie]

thank you i try to put my all into all my writings:)