finally see

it seems strange to finally see

this darkness that surounds me

its as if my eyes are opened 

and been welcomed to a strange new world

i see these youthful faces

ravaged by the sands of time

 the people i meet in these places

do not believe these ageless eyes are mine

this newfound sight inside of me

has been birthed by dark eternity

a black abyss has set me free

the  shades of black its showing me

my heart is like a brand new baby

finally emerging from the womb

led here and remain eternally

i've awakened and escaped my tomb

this blackest night that i am in

the warmest blanket, comforting friend

cause here i finally see the stars

ever near and ever far

Reviews

[quinfinn]

this could almost be a song, it truly sings itself off the page when read aloud. i kept trying to decide which stanza would be a good chorus and hook for the piece, then i told myself to remember it is a poem...even though it really felt like music to me. well done!

[marie]

lol, most of my work i sing before i actually write it, this one i believe had a
Dminor base but most of my work does start as music, i am so glad you liked it:) it is a great compliment coming from one such as yourself:)

[quinfinn]

i knew it! very good.....

[marie]

thank you:)

[Ethale Captor]

I have the feeling I have read this before. Perhaps one of your other works is similar to this, or I have read this prior to your posting it. Either way, it is an excellent write. Keep up the great work.

[marie]

you have read it before, i merely just now put it up for read requests so that people can see how far i have come from this depressed little girl to a stronger and brighter spirit:) thank you for reviewing this on here it really and truly helps:)

[Ethale Captor]

I do not believe my reviews are that helpful, but perhaps it is better to say something or comment anyway. In any case, I can at least say it is nice, but I do not believe that is much help, my apologies.

[marie]

reviews aren't only for critiquing you know? they can be used to push the writer forward in their work and give them the confidence that they need.

[Ethale Captor]

Touchè.

[marie]

:)

[Brandon S. Whitten]

The light within you shines. Beautifully penned.

[marie]

thank you so much for the review:) it means a lot:)

[CreativeStroke]

Good job with this one Marie! :) It had a beautiful beat to it as I was reading along, which made it very enjoyable.

[marie]

thank you:) i'm so glad you liked it:)

[Nick.B]

Great poem with a nice rhythm to it , love the second stanza, shows the darkness of today, don't know why but this poem reminded me of the sabbath song "heaven and hell"...anyway great job

[marie]

thank you so much:) i'm glad you like it:)

[Ohhhwillow]

This has a melodic flow, gentle and unforced in its rhyming. "Ravaged by the sands of time", this imagery is strong, very beautiful.. My favourite stanza is without a doubt the fourth, the juxtaposition of "womb" and "tomb" is excitingly powerful!!

[marie]

I'm glad you liked it:) thank you for the review:)

[Sir Joseph]

Its amazing how you have become a new creation and this very amazingly shows it! Wonderful piece!

[marie]

Thank you:) was reading through the pieces today and was literally able to watch myself grow from hurting little girl to this:)

[Sir Joseph]

Good:) because it is plain to see:)

[marie]

It is??

[Sir Joseph]

Yeppers:)

[}Echo{]

This is interesting, and suspenceful! I love it! :))

[marie]

:) glad you like it took a while:)

[}Echo{]

:)

[Ashley G.]

Interesting! I love it!

[marie]

thanks buddy :)