An Interview: Round III

I didn't think it would come to this. What's that saying, third time a charm? All lies.

Our generation has to be one of the most unfortunate when it comes to job-seeking. We have to be EVERYTHING, which in my case, is marketer slash designer slash copywriter slash manager slash illustrator slash web developer slash receptionist slash coffee maker slash boss's b***h.

And here I am again. My latest interview. And this time, no really, this time, I'll make this job my b***h. There is no question they can possibly ask that will throw me off. There is nothing I do not know. I am the almighty job seeker. I am employee of the month. I am 15 minutes away from becoming RICH.

And so I go - head held high and portfolio dragging at my feet - into the unknown. I sit down. Thank God, they have air-conditioning. I remember the receptionist's name and she smiles broadly. Sweet. Nailed the entrance. Now for the show.

My future boss walks in, introduces herself and sits down on the other end of this mahogany table that seems to go on forever. This is suddenly very awkward. I suddenly realise that I have hands. Where do they go again? I've had them for 26 years but where the hell do they go? I cross them in front of me. S**t. Now I'm praying.

"So tell me Leah, If you are given 3 projects...and all three are due for the following day...how do you approach them?"

"Well Caren...firstly, I take a step back, and review my situation." Yes, off to a good start. Now what?
"and then, well, you firstly have to take a step back." Ok what then? Think. THINK!
You tell the least important client to piss off because there is absolutely now way you will be able to get your work done if everyone is breathing down you neck! You quit your job and move to Spain and marry a rich, fun loving musician who will introduce you to the world and make you realise that you never want to work again. And you will die happy.
"Well Caren you need to remember to take a step back..."
No. NO.

After half an hour, we stand up. Caren mentions something about how the company is looking for someone who will be the 'go-to'person' and who is willing to work hard...experience...blah blah...month's notice...something about cheese. I reach to shake her hand and she whisks it away, laughing stupidly. "Flu. wouldn't want you to catch it."

Really? If I get the flu right now that will be the absolute highlight of my week.

My mom calls. count on them to call when you've had the worst day of your life, only to make it even worse.
"How did it go? Am I getting a new car for my birthday?"
"Hi Mom. Oh, yeah, you mean the interview? It went really well. You might have to settle for a gift card though."
"Remember, practice makes perfect!"
Dum dum dum!!!

BONUS ROUND.