An Interview : Round II

ROUND 2

 

Ok, so my first interview was a waste of time. But that’s ok, this time I'll get it. Hell Yes. This is my time to show them what I'm made of. At the end of the day, it all comes down to perseverance. Rome wasn't built in a day and all those fantastically annoying phrases that tend to come in handy when your ego's been deflated.

I get the call:

"Hi Leah, this is so-and-so from some-or-other company. We were extremely impressed with your portfolio. Would you be able to come and see us?"

"Of course, so-and-so, how does 5 sound?"

Sweet. This time I’ll be closer to home and couple of thousand Rand richer. Bring on the champagne!

 

I make the trip again. I arrive 10 minutes early. But once again the afternoon sun is relentless. Soon the whole front of my black dress is a darker shade of black than the rest. Once again I promise myself that I will install an air-con unit after I get my first paycheck. Definitely. God D****t.

 

I arrive at the office and haul my monstrously large portfolio through the door. Of course this time it’s heavier. I added a couple of pieces to convince my future employer of my aptitude for the position. Rite of passage, here I come. We shake hands. He’s a bulky-looking dude with a hipster hair-cut and a graphic t-shirt. We sit down and I wipe the sweat from my forehead. Perhaps I’ll try humor this time. He seems like the type.

 

“Sorry!”, I blurt out. “I don’t have air-conditioning in the car. I’m so hot!” Erm, not what I meant. That didn’t sound very cool.

“No worries. Do you have a boyfriend?”

Why, are you hitting on me? If I say no, will I get the job?

“I’m married, actually.”

“If your husband had to describe you, what would he say?”

Hmmm…I’m messy, whiny, I make terrible coffee and I can spend an entire weekend watching Honey Boo Boo.

“Hmmm…I’m creative, loveable, loyal and care-free.”

Nailed it.

“How would you feel about working in a male-driven environment?”

Ugh. Must be a chauvinist. I’ve got this covered. I’ll cater to his ego and see how this plays out.

“I wouldn’t mind one bit! I personally think that often men are the ones who take risks. I’ve found that in general, women tend to play it safe.”

Sorry Mom

“Well, our company is mostly comprised of female managers.”

F**k off.

 

The interview goes on like this until I can’t stand it anymore. Describe ‘design’ in a single word. What?! Confusion. All the while I keep thinking…this is going well. I think I might actually get this one. Air-con. Air-con in my car. And then it comes. The final flying kick. The dagger to the heart. The absolute killer:

 

“Listen, I’m gonna be straight with you. We’re actually looking for someone with a couple years more experience. Around 5 years to be exact.”

 

K.O.

 

Don’t these people read my CV?!

If at first you don't succeed... screw it. Round 3.