what i do

i shouldn't watch dexter right before bed. also, i shouldn't eat pancakes every night while i watch dexter right before bed, but i do anyway, because i don't know how not to.

so it's almost five, and i'm still up. creating a list of all the books i need for the workshops coming up, and then for school. i got my federal tax rebate earlier today, but i still feel s**t poor. i'm practically ready to apply for a job at Toys R Us. that's how much money i don't have to go to school. i thought about becoming a surrogate mother the other day and just selling my kid for thirty grand, but then i remembered how difficult it would be to get pregnant, and, it's probably not a good idea, anyway, with my mom being sick and all.

today i put billy butters in percy's cage, and they cuddle a little. i think percy likes billy butters more than billy butters likes percy. though, when i walk by the cage, percy gets as close to me as possible and grabs hold of the bars and shakes them with his little hands. "go play with your brother."

but he doesn't listen.

and then i'm afraid i'll wake up tomorrow and one will've eaten the other. and probably, percy would be the eaten one, given his affection towards billy, and the way billy just kinda, stares off into the nothing-at-all.

i think it's that i get too involved. with the characters. i miss biney. and now miguel's gone and killed yet another dear friend of LaGuerta's,--eww, and when Harry holds up her limp, blue hand, and you see her eyes all foggy, gross!--and we haven't even gotten to the part where miguel dies...

then today ("today" meaning the rerun played on SciFi maybe two nights ago i recorded on the DVR) in the X-Files, this little boy gets kidnapped and returns a mute but otherwise exactly the same (blood enzymes and all) a full decade later. he creeps the f**k out of everyone, audience especially included. the dog tries to eat him, and he keeps disappearing and reappearing to, you know, shove bloody knives into his brother's mattress. by the end, we realize that, despite the weird almost-stabbing, he's actually a ghost whose only intentions are to protect his brother from the same fate--murder, sodomy?--he endured ten years prior. beautiful.

almost as beautiful as fox mulder's face at the opening as he falls into that eyeball, but not quite. and i can't help thinking, everytime i see dogett's face, how much better the episode would be if it were replaced with David Duchovony's luscious features, his wonderful mouth dancing to the sounds of a smoothly hopeful voice...

it's almost too late to sleep, or at least too late for me. tonight. without more dreams. last night wasn't so bad, but i almost made love to this character that fused this girl i don't really know but kind of adore with--i dunno, no one real, i guess--and right before the act i said "hey, i have to tell you before we do anything that i have an STD."

and then it was over.

less weird than the night before last when i was fucked by the inside of a cave.
"what?" --anne marie
"well, it grew hands and a penis. but there was a cute muppety quality to it, like labrynth, or a sexier fraggle rock."
"maybe that was your way of celebrating earth day."

to add one more confusing visual to my list, earlier today i watched a porn clip of this woman licking, like, a pint of horse semen off her hands. it came out of her mouth first, which is a concept i never fully understood, horse semen or not. girls do that s**t in porn all the time. spit cum all over their hands or someone else's body just to lick it off. it's repulsive.

but maybe anything would be, because by the time the women get to the finger-licking part, i've already gotten off, and, especially in the case of horse...post-cum-shots, i stare deeply into the screen wondering what the f**k i'm doing. i mean, i don't even really like horses.

while i was contemplating various psychological explanations, i had an epiphany: it could really be so much worse. i could be, for instance, that girl. and then i wondered how anyone gets to that point. i mean, what has to happen before a person says, "okay, i'm going to blow horses (for money?)" where's the threshold?

i don't know, but it's definitely much higher than the one that divides the horse-blowjob-watchers from the non-watchers, and higher still is the threshold for the subsequent cum licking.

Reviews

[MeathooksMcGee]

Hilarious.

Weather or not this site "sucks", you should continue to fill it up with more of the dainty little thoughts that preoccupy your mind because if anything, your writing his hardly typical and therefore refreshing.