why i can't write anymore

i feel smushed.

remember the way you'd swing on your stomach?
as a kid? for the up-right, spaceman lift?
all your weight released, suspended, then pulled back
on to that black, plastic band that held your guts
made you feel
like all of lunch would come out your mouth
and nose and eyes?
remember your heels deepened marks
when you arrived and scraped
back with your toes?

it's like that.

and i don't know why i don't puke.
when i think about tools and things.
sometimes when i drink that chalky mint juice...
maybe to prove something.
that i feel...something.

or, being underneath is the same.
sometimes i even bleed, and--by accident--
know all the girls scuffed or lost, and their names

until it ends. the stomach pains.
then they become as indiscernible as
pennies that flew from your pocket
when you were swinging back to earth,

and i don't know what else to say

 

Reviews

[Francis Myerick]

sometimes i wanna just post david bowie lyrics and pretend they're mine. but i don't.

[Blackbirdsong]

Even in describing why you don't write you are eloquent and still one of the best writers on this site. Take whatever time you need to feel better, but please come back when you feel more like writing again. I miss reading you. I've gone as long as two years without writing, but when I got back to it, boom...nothing could stop me. I hope it's like that for you when you return. :)