Sasha's Heart

Inner depths of her longing soul. (Unexpected Love)

I can see the good in him that no one else can seem to see. I know his heart, I know his soul, I just wish to others eyes the truth could be shown. They see this monster, because of the choices he made in his past, but that couldn't be further from the truth. When I am with him, I sense nothing but goodness. Oh if only my closet friends could see the wonderful person that I see in him, but unfortunately they can not. I know my best friend is only looking out for me, in the way that he does. If only he could just open his mind for just a moment, he could see the wonderful person that I see every day. The funniest thing is, I would of never seen this relationship ever coming to be, it was the most unexpected gift that could ever come my way. In fact let me take you on a journey of how this love story came to be...

November was a month of change for me, so many things changed in that month that I never seen coming. I was in a way involved with a man that I could feel myself falling for, although we weren't anything more then friends with benefits at the time. We were both coming out of a long relationship and weren't really looking to jump into another one right away. So we both came to the agreement of being each others special friend. For awhile everything appeared to be going smoothly for the most part, until we decided to move in together as room mates. That's when I began to notice that my feelings for this special friend of mine were beginning to change. I began to want more, and had hopes that some day we would be more then just each others casual fling, but that was never the case. As November began to slowly creep up, he began to pull back from hooking up with me, and expressed that friendship was all he wanted from me. He felt our friendship would go much further if we didn't date, and that friendship between us would last longer then any romantic relationship would. It was then he began dating someone who wasn't me, and that hurt me more then I realized it would at the time. As their relationship grew, I could see that he was falling for her, even though he didn't want to admit it at the time. That's when i knew it was time for me to move on completely, and stop holding on to the idea that someday we would end up together. At first I wasn't sure how to, do I start dating, or do I focus on other things instead. That's when I decided to get a part time job, to fill in the gaps when I wasn't working on my school work. That's when I met him, The guy that would change my heart forever, although I didn't realize it at the time.

My first few days at work were a bit of a blur, it took some time before every little thing I was shown sunk in fully. My Boss was funny, I think that was one of the first things I noticed about him right away, is that he had a good sense of humor. I really enjoyed working with him as well as a few other employees I worked with did. There was one employee that I had a crush on for the longest time but never really thought anything of it because of how young he was. Apparently I was a bit more obvious then I realized about it though. He didn't seem a bit surprised when I told him that I kind of liked him. We had a good laugh about it, and both agreed that we would probably make really good friends along the way. Realizing that I could have a crush on someone though made me realize that the feelings I once had for my room mate were no longer there as they once were. I had finally come to a place Where I saw him as my best friend, just as he saw me. I even grew to care for his girlfriend as I would a sister, that kind of took me by surprise. Although many things had changed sense November, the had seemed to change for the better. Unfortunately there were a few changes on the horizon that weren't going to be as good.

It was a sad day, when the other coworkers and I had learned that we would soon be loosing our favorite boss, due to a big promotion. Although it was a good opportunity for him, knowing we were no longer going to have him as our boss put a dark cloud over our day, as we heard the news. He was the only Boss that had a way of making a seemingly stressful day still seem fun and enjoyable, while all the other ones were very anal unfortunately. A few of us even got together and threw him a going away party, to show him just how much he would be missed, we hated to see him leave. The first few days without him, and with one of our other bosses was rough to say the least, but we all managed to get through it. He was missed very much, hell even I noticed I missed having him around more then I thought I would. We stayed in contact, as he did with some of his other employees who played video games online with him, but we seemed to talk a bit more then they did. We even exchanged numbers over time,and would send joke back and forth to one another. Never really thinking much of it,when the jokes would turn a bit flirtatious at times. Little did I know that soon one text, was about to lead to one night that was going to change things between us forever.

The friendly flirting eventually turned into us thinking about actually hooking up on a casual level, sense it had been awhile for both of us. At first it just seemed like something that would be brought up but never actually done, until one night while hanging out it actually did. It wasn't suppose to be meant as anything more then the casual hook up between friends, but that changed almost instantly. We were so much alike, more so then I realized at the time, that he decided he wanted more then just a casual fling. He didn't want to miss out on a chance of being with me, and seeing where it could go. For once things seemed to fall into place with the feelings that we both seemed to share, everything seemed to be working out perfectly, until the past decided to rear its ugly head.

He had ran into some trouble legally in the past, that unfortunately had a habit of haunting his life no matter what he did. When it happened to to get ran across, things that seemed to be going so good began to appear shaky and uncertain. My roommates, had some serious concerns about me seeing him, knowing what they knew of his past. My best friend seemed to be the most concerned of them all, and was very assertive in how he felt. While at first what I had come to find out bothered me slightly at first, the feelings I was developing for him over shadowed any concerns I may have had. I knew despite what he may or may not of done in the past, that didn't change the fact that I knew he was a wonderful person inside and out. My best friend wasn't to happy with the decision I was making, I had even tried to hide it a few times but couldn't. I never expected to fall for a guy, that I once seen as my boss, Nor did I plan on something like this having the possibility of becoming between my best friend and I, but I can't help how i feel inside. If only they could put aside their judgement and their concerns over his past, then maybe they could see the amazing person that I see every day when I look at him.

Never did I Imagine I would fall for a guy, that was much older then I. Love has it's ways of smacking you in the face sometimes, especially when we least expect it. I will always love them for caring enough to be protective over me, but someday when the time is right and it is meant to be they will come to see what I see. If only I could make the love story of which I am currently living in, bring happiness to others for me. Unfortunately though that is a fantasy that I only wished were true. Maybe as time goes on they will see, just how truly happy he makes me.

The End