6 Seconds

It's 6.06pm.

There's a hum in my head. Dullish but progressively growing louder by the minute. Faster. More persistent. Then begins to echo, vibrantly.

It starts radiating, illuminating, as i try to continue my incessant chores.

And I know the answer to mute it is easy. Too easy.

I open the freezer to distract myself. Cookie dough ice cream screams unappealingly.

Shut that door and tenderly, slowly open another.

My head pounds harder, louder, more viciously now.

The fridge door is open now and I stare for a very long debatable 6 seconds.

I sigh. Deeper than I realise. Still too in my head to feel feelings.

Robotically I take out the bottle. Habitually.

I don't smile or frown. Or feel.

I just wait for the humming to instantly stop with the sound of pouring.

Then vulgarly taste the vile too sweet patheticness of my life...

The sugar coated social media in a glass.

The inauthentic perfection in a sip.

The unburstable ingenuine smiles in a bottle.

The life that was meant to be now, toxically inexistently ironic.

The 'what if' a constant hangover everyday at this predictable time.

And, best of all, the never really been loved or been in love suddenly surging through my blood like a parasite.

And the sweetness of the golden liquid fills my soul and seemingly sends my heart love. 

And I sigh. Deeper still.

Eventually.... my right hand gets heavier.

My thoughts finally start to blur.

My stumped feelings start to numb, then vividly flame, continuously unconscious yet too aware.

My loneliness resembling Mozarts requiem symphony in my deaf ears.

So I continue on.

Then in a second I awake and a fresh new day begins again....