4am in May

A Poem by Rana

Another poem I wrote during my time in Berlin in May of this year. This poems is very much still a work in progress.

Berlin had you fighting when you first arrived.

Tossed and turned,

until Saturday came and dragged

you out into the night, where you stayed

until the birds started chirping on a Wednesday

two weeks later, and the earl-grey sky

opened up above you.

Try to speak,

but there’s a secret that’ll take you to hell.

Keep it locked in the confines of a ring,

red as blood. Smell it sometimes, when you

meet someone new - the same stranger

recognized you only by the sight

of a pearl-grain earring.

Palo santo smoke seeps

into dawn, and dusk.

Waiting to go home to somebody,

for the poetry to fall right out

into an echoing courtyard. It’s always

a post-golden glow that sits behind 4am in May,

reaching for the echoes of a previous life,

a pawn throwing roots into a net of sounds.

forgive me father, for I have sinned.

© 2024 Rana

Author's Note

Let me know what you think of the ending... are the last three lines effective or unnecessary?

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Reviews

W. Barrett Munn

Hello,

The last three lines are unneeded. You want to leave something to readers to ponder and reach their own conclusions about.
A couple of other notes if you don't mind.

For serious writing, don't use gimmicks like different colored ink. Times New Roman 12 point (Time and 3 on the Cafe). There is no Em dash available here. The best you can do is to use space dash spade, like this: I - think. That has to make do for an em dash otherwise you end up with a question mark.
I listened to another of your poems. You have talent. If you haven't already, I urge you to sign up for some free sites that send poems daily to your phone or computer, like Rattle or Poetry or Autumn Sky. It helps to see what is currently being published, no that you want to copy but to immerse yourself in poetry.