Seams

You can take this any number of ways. So go ahead, be my guest. Explore my horizons!

If I can taste your sins,
Does that mean that I may win?

Or does it simply mean,
That I'm falling at the seams?

Shall I dare to dream?

Maybe it could be my imaginings...?

If only I could know,
Then I'd move on with the true show.

All I need is one day,
One full, free, and living.
A day when I don't have to worry,
About breathing.

Reviews

[Moonflower]

The last stanza really stood out for me, maybe just because I can relate to it so well. Beautiful piece of writing, I enjoyed it.

[Wolfwind Words]

Hmmm... I like this one. It's deep and it's words convey numerous images and analogies that can flow down different paths.

I shall say this...

A scarecrow at night can be the devils delight.
When the mask is seen and crows gave it a varied peck
There was nothing but shadows from below it's neck.

Fear made the straw
The straw wove the cage
The cage held the breath
The dreams....
became nightmares.

Great Ink!
Wolfie

[LadyVoodoo]

It is hard to use one rhyming word a line after the other, only a very talented poet can do so and you do it quite well.

[Tate Morgan]

Oh to have a carefree day again

[Sarah]

this is really cool and I think it 's reallt interesting!

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Writer,

(I told you I'd get around to this.) Thank you for the read request and thank you for being a good friend. I am glad to finally get around to reviewing a particular poem of yours. And I was not let down! :P

Poem: The poem is nicely written and concise with it's theme. I think you broke this poem up too much causing too much emphasis on parts less important than others. Every beginning letter of each line does not need to be capitalized. Capital letters often make us stop and then take a breather when you're actually just trying to get through a particular line. I could proofread this also. In the second stanza, second line... should falling be failing? Imaginatings isn't a word. You're looking for imagination. Good overall flow and very in depth especially on the last stanza. Rhyme/rhythm are good but watch out on forcing a rhyme as it'll make it sound fake.

Very good poem! I loved the theme, as I said. You did quite a well job writing it down. I hope you'll always aspire to be better than you can be, both now and forever. 9.3/10.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[Lunar Lightning]

Ah, I liked this poem. First line in particular (dear you should have known that would be one of the first things I see, the word "sin" just so happens to grab my attention pretty quickly). I liked that you didn't make all of the stanzas the same length, it gave a sort of power to the poem, and a certain voice that complimented the words.

Luna

[The Wave]

nice write,
the first line caught my attention right away

but overall, i dont understand your view or point with this, and it seemed you worried more about the flow and rhyme than the actual content. which could explain why the ending seemed to disappoint me...

this has potential to be sooo strong.
i do love what you have here already, and with that i say
good job

[nostal]

This is
deeply beautiful.
It's short
but concise
and questioning,
to life.
Great.