A Story

Once, upon the time, a lady walked the land,
She fell in step, hand in hand, with one single man.

Across time and space, they were together,
That is, untill he found her better.

Now she sits and sobs, rocking to and froe,
And waits to be a Juliet to her very own Romeo.

Author's Note

I hope that's better Toni.

Reviews

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

Very.Lovely. Sweet. yet. very. sad.

[la Abeja]

Wow this is so sad. I love it! You painted a beautiful picture of heartache and despair. Two thumbs up!

[Matt]

nice flow

[Lunar Lightning]

I have one or two suggestions on this one, but purely grammatic. Here you go:

1-"She fell in step, hand in hand, with another man" is fine, but I think you should find some other way to phrase the "with another man" part.

2- "and waits to be a Juliet to his own Romeo" that just makes it sound like "she" is really a "he", so yeah might want to fix that up a bit and make it so it doesn't sound like you're talking about our dearest Jeffree Star.

Anyway, I like the whole message here, it was nice.

Luna