Faith In Goodbye

After our loved ones are gone will we ever see them again?

Faith in Goodbye

A short story

He grasped my hand softly, while mine gripped his hand with a force that comes only with pain. Tears were pouring down my face like cold streams of fire but no sounds escaped my mouth. My eyes gazed to where the coffin was being set in the ground, unseeing. The sun was shining down on me but all I could feel was the burn that comes from numbness of mind and body. It felt as though someone was squeezing my throat, restricting my breath. Painful clenching feeling echoed through my chest as if my heart and lungs were in a vice grip.

My lover took his hand and slowly brushed the tears from my cheeks, until they slowly came to a stop. His warm breath defrosted me from the frozen cold of my depression. And that’s when I snapped.

Falling to my knees, my mouth gaped open in a silent scream. I pulled my hands to my stomach, protecting myself from the invisible blows. Ugly whimpers spilled from my mouth followed by short angry gasps. The pain lacerated through me spreading like poison in my blood. 

While I crouched falling apart on the ground he simply kneeled next me and pulled in into his comforting hold. Calm slowly swept through my, filling me with a placating warmth. As soon as my sobbing stopped I tried to pull together my chaotic thoughts and say something. 

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” Was the only thing that I managed to get out. My voice was a strangled whisper, like I had just spent the last few hours screaming instead of in silent agony. 

His husky voice pierced the veil of pain, settling around me in a warm embrace. “Do not worry my love for you will see him again.” He sounded so sure of himself, “This is not goodbye, this is just see you later.” He stated the last part with the conviction of a man who had been in death’s company many times before. 

For the first time since arriving at the burial I turned to look at him. An anger that was fueled by pain flashed through my being. “How can you be so sure?” My voice was filled with desperation and pleading. 

His eyes connected with mine for a second before looking away. I followed his gaze to where the coffin lay beneath the dirt. Feeling his eyes on me once more I looked at him again. We stared into each others eyes and I watched as an unfamiliar pain filled his own. His adam’s apple bobbed a bit as he prepared himself to speak. “I have to.” His voice cracked a bit with hidden grief at his simple statement.

This time it was me who comforted him. We stayed there long after everyone had left. Both of us were left bared to the soul, vulnerable, only the presence of each other and the hope that we would someday see our loved ones again, holding us together.