on the edge

Passing along the second floor
I feel this unbearable urge to just jump
To end everything
I start to hop over the railing
The railing that divides life and death
I put my feet over the edge
I start to walk forward
Forward to my death
As I walk I hear voices
Voices that echo like never before
The noise of sirens startle me
I start to fall
Falling faster and faster
This feeling is like something I’ve never felt
My adrenaline keeps racing
I hear people screaming
Screaming so loud
My hearts starts to stop
I feel not like before
But in shock
I see below
A bed of mattresses to catch me
To make me live
Who are they to decided if I live?
What do they care?
I made up my mind didn’t I?
I finally hit the mattresses that saved my life
And then my anger overcomes me
I run and run past everyone
And then I stop
I decide to go back
To make sure nobody speaks of it
I go back swinging at everyone
They all say I am crazy
The police finally contain me
They hand cuff me to the car
So I cant get away
I scream bloody murder as the do
I swear at them like crazy
Finally they put me in a car
The sirens blaring as they drive me
I finally get out at the mental institution
They put me in isolation to keep me from hurting myself
They take all my things
Everything I own and all I have left is a tooth brush which they decide to throw away
They give me new stuff that are made to contain me
Made so nobody can hurt themselves
As the days pass by I start to understand why I’m here
I start to feel better and better as time goes on
I’m finally talking about everything
I talk to my counselor everyday which is mandated by court
As months go on I start to progress and move on
I finally get out of isolation after the 4 month comes
I get transferred into a real room with a roommate
Which after 4 months of nobody to talk to you begin liking having someone to talk to
After five whole days I finally learn her name its ashley
We start to become friends and trust each other
Until one day I find something under her bed while she’s out with the counselors
I don’t know what to do about what I found
Should I tell the counselors or act like I didn’t see anything?
Should I confront her about it?
One night I hear her get up and search under her bed
She thinks I’m asleep and finds what I found
She opens it and is about to use it
When I decide its gone to far
I tackle her to the ground
I hit it out of her hand
After I fought with her over it
She’s on the floor sobbing
Cursing at me like a sailor
But I don’t care
It needed to be done
I make sure she can’t get it
And then I press the emergency button repetitiously
Until I hear the nurses running threw the halls
I tell them what happened about everything she stashed under her bed
About how we fought over it
The nurses thank me for saving her life
But all she does is give me dirty looks
But I know in the future she will prolly thank me
Thank me for everything I did for her
The nurses take her to isolation kicking and screaming
Cursing as she is pulled along
She tells me she hates me
That I’m a b***h for doing that to her
That its all my fault this happened
But I know deep down it was better than waking up
And finding her dead and never of stopping her
As weeks go by I get promoted to leave
Which I am so excited about
I can’t wait to leave this place and start fresh
I decide that this was actually a beneficial experience
And that I want to go on to be psychologist
And help at the mental institution
And help other people like ashley and also me
But if it wasn’t for the community saving me
I would not be here today and wouldn’t of seen how much I appreciate my life
And what they all did for me
If it wasn’t for me jumping I would never of changed my ways
And never of become the girl I am today

Reviews

[Tony Williams]

As far as free verse poetry goes, this has a huge amount of emotion, and the story is a good one.
I particularly like the use of the otherwise cliché phrase "And never have become the girl I am today" in the sense of truly defining it. I would recommend polishing it a bit, but the core of your poem is written.
Grammar Nazi: "But I know in the future she will probably thank me"
(Not my advice, but a friend's: "Whittle it down until you can't make it any shorter. Then take out 20%.") I personally, see the meaning in the length.

[That_Guy]

I was really drawn in almost reading "louder" as the story progressed

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

I was shocked how long you were able to make the moment last. You'd be surprised at the crazy stuff we've all had to live through too.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the reason and the purpose for this poem. You set-up the reader for a entertaining and good ride in your words. Your words are true. Sometimes we learn the hard way and become a positive person in helping other. Take many people to built a strong and good life. I like the ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Mockingbird]

very powerful story. it's profound that the narrator was angry at the people tried to save her when she tried to commit suicide then she saved her friend from the same fate. she came a long way, and it shows that there is hope for everyone when they get help. great depiction.

[Valendette]

Very interesting and very long lol but i enjoyed it. there was a nice message behind it and i believe everyone can learn from battling their inner demons the way your character did. Keep up the good work and i hope to read more from you (: