A nice static mindpic of a warm and soft moment. Like the after description we might make of a photo we saw...
But it feels very static, unmoving, jumbled thought impressions... perhaps making it more flowing by adding personal touches, timing, and a sense of paced but active word tones?
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks for your kind words and your feedback is much appreciated
I love this, a beautiful, poetic moment captured perfectly by words. Particularly early on I felt in place of the narrator standing on the beach soaking the moment in. Well done :)
Nice, I love beaches. Very chilled sorta feel to it, I feel the first line coulda been a but more like "golden beach" or something, I feel just sayin beach isn't enough. Still overall good work :) Keep it up
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Always criticizing me, aren't we?? Never satisfied? Im just kidding, I appreciate all the feedback, .. read moreAlways criticizing me, aren't we?? Never satisfied? Im just kidding, I appreciate all the feedback, thanks for that and for the review
11 Years Ago
I think u should write it again :P Nah am joking. No problem :)
I can't write now, too much emotional s**t to deal with
11 Years Ago
It doesn't need re-writing :) But, my advice about the emotional s**t is, you might aswell vent it o.. read moreIt doesn't need re-writing :) But, my advice about the emotional s**t is, you might aswell vent it out bein a poet
11 Years Ago
I might try that later I'm too busy trying to be alone
I just want to tuck this one in my pocket and take it with me all day, it's like a big beachy smile that makes me feel all warm and gooey. Love it!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Aww thank u!! I mean really though who doesn't love summer?!?! Ps I get on and there's and I have 25.. read moreAww thank u!! I mean really though who doesn't love summer?!?! Ps I get on and there's and I have 25 new review comments all from noodles page
11 Years Ago
I noticed last night....I gave up on that one ;-)
My pleasure...can you fit summer in y.. read moreI noticed last night....I gave up on that one ;-)
My pleasure...can you fit summer in your pocket by the way?
11 Years Ago
Not sure but I wish, especially in those cold winter days and long school weeks
Not final exams but I have a math test that counts for a significant portion of my grade so like an .. read moreNot final exams but I have a math test that counts for a significant portion of my grade so like an exam
11 Years Ago
good luck with that, math gives me the heebie jeebies
11 Years Ago
Same if I run out of the room screaming, no one should be surprised....happy pi day!!!!! ;)
Awwww, sweeeeet!!! :D lol we can do this sort of thing in January sometimes... lol :P The imagery in this poem is phenomenal... :D
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
haha that makes me jealous because sadly I cannot, thank you very much!!!
11 Years Ago
lol well, as a consequence, we don't get any snow ever. :P You're welcome! :D
11 Years Ago
ahhh snows overrated rather be warm and tan!!
11 Years Ago
lol true... I've seen snow twice! DID YOU KNOW IT FALLS FROM THE SKY TOO?! I WAS LIKE OMG!!!!!!!!!!!.. read morelol true... I've seen snow twice! DID YOU KNOW IT FALLS FROM THE SKY TOO?! I WAS LIKE OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11 Years Ago
Haha im aware, but honestly once you've had to walk barefoot up a hill of snow you no longer like it.. read moreHaha im aware, but honestly once you've had to walk barefoot up a hill of snow you no longer like it or getting it shoved down your back.....its cruel and unusual punishment
11 Years Ago
Ahhh... Now, that makes sense... That would kill the mood, wouldn't it?
11 Years Ago
yes yes it would also two words: yellow snow
11 Years Ago
Mm, I see... I saw some of that... my dad told me not to eat it... xD
11 Years Ago
smart man he is lol Ive been told that too
11 Years Ago
lol :P It's a joke we have around these parts, "Don't eat the yellow snow". Except it never snows. A.. read morelol :P It's a joke we have around these parts, "Don't eat the yellow snow". Except it never snows. A useless joke, but a joke nonetheless. :P
11 Years Ago
I think that is ment for the people around these parts though sadly my dog doesn't quite understand .. read moreI think that is ment for the people around these parts though sadly my dog doesn't quite understand that saying
My friends call me C which is short for.....Anyways let's share a little about me, shall we?
I write because it gives me a way to say things I've never had the courage to explain or tell others. Ther.. more..