Trans Siberian

You never know where romance will be found.

Metal to metal

Bumping along

Monotonous humming

Anxiety strong

Trees in my window

Snow on the tracks

Towns without names

Filled with old wooden shacks

Surrounded by vodka

On tables and breaths

Checkers and Yahtzee

Gambling debts

Fervorous passion

Escaping my heart

Aching and yearning

For amorous spark

Pools of turquoise

In the aisle ahead

Hair shines like copper

Atop of her head

Rest here beside me

Capture my soul

Siberian angel

More precious than gold

Minutes to hours

Day into night

Curled beside me

Light up my life

Whispers from heaven 

Capture my ears

Mind numbing beauty

Brings me to tears

Author's Note

It took me a bit to make this piece come together like I felt it should. Could not decide without rhyme or with rhyme. Went with the latter, as it seemed to flow better.

Reviews

[Arundass TP]

I feel something melodious with two or three words usage. Loved it reading. Excellent writing

[Mz]

Well well, I think I'm in love. This was so great I am unable to find the words. It really does paint a picture as if it were real. It is so well written that I assume you have actually been on the Trans Siberian railway. It's something I hope to do someday as well and your poem makes me want it even more. :)

"Siberian angel
More precious than gold"
I loved this, resulted in a big smile. Such pretty words.

Fabulous!

[Scott S]

I love your support and comments on this. This is honestly one of my favorite poems that I have written. I have never been on a long train ride, although I tried to put myself in the moment and imagine what it would be like. I have studied a bit about Siberia, and have a "sort of" concept of what it is like there. I tired to make the poem as true to life as possible. The whole idea of meeting the beautiful girl on the train.......that's the romantic side of me, I guess.
Thanks so much for your review. You inspire me to start writing more words again......it's been a while since I wrote.....gotta change that. Thanks again.

[Lizbeth]

Many years ago I read a paperback about that tough journey and this poem brings those memories to mind: snow, then towns passing by, then forrests and more snow ...
I liked the short sentences, which enhance the imagery and the rhythm of the steam train really comes across.

I liked this line very much:
"Snow on the tracks
Towns without names
Filled with old wooden shacks" ...

Very descriptive writing too: the vodka, gambling debts and the minutes to hours all add up to really capture the mood.
Thoroughly enjoyed this poem which I just chanced to read.
Lizbeth

[Scott S]

Hi Lizbeth,
Thank you very much for the nice review. I appreciate your comments on the imagery and capture of mood. Imagery is so important in writing, and I am glad I was able to capture it, and convey it to the reader.
Thanks again.

[Lizbeth]

A pleasure!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Scott, I like this. Wonderful rhyming and oh so tender words.

[Scott S]

Hi Neva, thanks so much. I am grateful that you took the time to read it.
Thank you for the kind review.

[Dean]

I think either approach is all right. I normally use rhyme so that it appears unintentional...often internal rhyme works for me, and I like that in my free verse. But, rhyme or not, is something often dictated by the context. Your approach to it, certainly works well.

[Scott S]

Thanks a lot, Dean. I really appreciate your input, and am grateful for the review.

[Cherrie Palmer]

The story and scenery unfold naturally with a simple rhyme that moves the reader forward.

[Scott S]

Thank you very much, Cherrie. Imagery is so important in writing; I am glad that you can see the images here. I really appreciate your review.

[Cherrie Palmer]

:) your very welcome