My Hell

Although it makes me sad,
I push you away.
Not as a test, to see if you’ll stay.

There’s a whole string of reasons that cause this behavior.
My heart won’t allow you to be my savior.

Inside I’m not the same as I outwardly show.
I have many thoughts inside, I can’t bare you to know.

Keeping up with who I want to be in your life.
At times feels like an impossible strife.

I so desperately want to give you a consistent me.
But I’m struggling to keep up
with who I want that to be.

If I shared this openly,
it’d likely bring you closer in.
But fear makes me start,
then stop, over and over again.

My heart wrenches at your messages I leave on read.
While I tuck myself into my uncomfortable bed.

I write this to no one,
and for no benefit at all.
Overwhelmed with loss,
as I watch our connect fall.

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

I like to read this as someone talking to themselves.

It's a good read whatever your intention's were though; pretty well written.

[Wórdsmíth]

Heart-wrenching... we all have to walk through such moments of life when we have to say what we never want to say - 'My Hell'.

[Susan 🦋]

Aw Such a sad little poem...interesting words "consistent me"... and "I write this to no one" hmm perhaps, but too much emotion here... or maybe, I just feel there is.
We are out own worst enemies and it's others that see so much potential.