Bipolar Strawberries

A personal essay

The molesting entrance of humid air added unwelcome weight as I walked to my car. I breathed through my mouth briefly wondering the cellular effects of extreme temperatures on the juxtaposed of oral ectoderm and endoderm. Then, self consciously, wonder if other people think of those things.
I’ve been spending more time than usual self reflecting, maybe we all have. Reminiscing past events and how they have formed me, has been a common theme.

As a teenager I went to a small, locally owned burger joint that made the thickness strawberry shakes I’ve ever had. That’s what I needed today.
The rare emergence from my safe haven, was confirmed by neighbors’ faces. Just a few months ago laughing disbelief echoed when I shared I was an introvert. Often arriving home in a flock, looking disheveled from long days, neighbors layered in quickly to visit. I learned that within minutes there’d be so many that one could quietly leave without detection.
Today, waving from behind my rolled up car window, pulling away towards my strawberry shake destination, clearly they are now convinced of my people aversion.

I pulled into the burger place, paused and blinked with my brow furrowed, I didn’t recall the drive there.
For a small establishment they always drew such a large crowd. Walking up to the order window made me think of a red carpet event. Densely lined with people,
I had to keep myself from waving, nodding and shaking hands.
Placing my order, I attempted to remain casual in order to appear a regular, seasoned patron for no reason at all. I then took my place among the others waiting, helping perpetuate the faux gala.

“Wendy?”, called a faceless person from behind the glare on the sun lit, glass partition. No time for autographs, I quickly thanked the faceless man. With focused attention on my shake, I walking quickly to my car.
To facilitate the perception of productivity, I decided to not enjoy my shake there but begin my drive home.

Insertion of the straw confirmed the shake easily could replace one, maybe two, of my meals for the day. Drinking it was clearly going to take some work but I had a thirty minute drive home. I recall the strawberries being an amusing hindrance requiring removal of the lid, piercing the strawberry with straw while sliding it up the inside of the styrofoam cup to my mouth.
Unable to do that and drive, my intentions were to be more forceful with the suction required.

The heat eased my efforts and with just a few pulls my ‘shake bliss’ was engaged.
The taste instantly brought a nostalgic comfort and stirred memories completely unrelated. Too quickly my mind moved to the present and what motivated me to embark on my shake journey.

I thought of the pandemic and departure of my initial assumption it would draw people together. The magnification of ostracized homelessness cordoned within our city to social distanced cots in stadium like areas devoid of comforts. How wrong it felt that news stations reported on funds and facility setups with a benevolent tone while putting them on display like animals on zoo webcams. The killer hornets, the California fires, the mounting unemployment all begged for us to emotionally shutdown, in self preservation.

I blinked back tears, turning attention to my shake, sucking in air, waiting for that taste to bring me back to a satisfied place. Those f*****g strawberries.

Reviews

[Chris]

Where do you have to go when even the sea walls have no room?

[Wendy Sue]

I close my eyes and escape to the stars or hold my breath and sink to the ocean floor. I’m not sure how I decide at the time which one I chose.

[Jess]

I wish I had something incredibly poetic to say here but all I really have is WOW! I felt this so deeply. Very well written piece. Thank you so much for sharing this.

[Wendy Sue]

Thank you so much🙏 So honored for the time taken to read, feel and review