Cocaine

yin and yang

She was like cocaine, anytime I was even near her, my mind went into hyperdive.  My movements seeming double time.  I wanted to scream, sing, and cry all at once.  I wanted to draw her things and play her things on my piano.  She just sat there most of the time, in a tantalizing way that said "you can have me, please take me" but I knew if I even touched her, I would be done for.  I would be ruined because she was f*****g beautiful and my eyes were sunken in, so I sat there and watched her, white like crystal, clean, even though she was dirty and drunk and crying, but she was still pristine and beautiful to me, because that is how you feel when you love someone, and for the first time, I thought maybe I did love her.  I loved her even though she was dirty and sullen and crass and swore like a sailor, and maybe she was just sad, weighed down by her iniquities.  Maybe I was attracted to darkness because I had been kept in the light for so long.

Author's Note

image: brigitte bardot