Changes

I feel so alone and scared of my own shadow and wonder why it had to turn out like this.  It was one of the hardest decisions that I have had to make in my entire life.  I know I sound like a drama queen, but that's how I honestly feel.  I've tried for so long to make you see that you are on a road to self destruction, but you just refuse to see it.  I can't be caught up in this kind of life anymore, I want to live, not destroy it, it's too precious to me, but you are intent on destroying yourself.  I have watched you deteriorate, but I can't be there anymore to witness it.  Your addiction has consumed you and if I stay with you it will consume me. I feel selfish that I can't be there for you anymore but I have to think about myself now.  It doesn't stop me from feeling guilty and feel that I have deserted you, but I need to live my life, and the life you have chosen is not the life for me. I wish it had turned out differently, you just don't know how much I wish it had, but the reality is reality and I've just got to face it.  I can't change you and you can't change me.