Quiet

That which we fear the most,

advancing toward our graves

without relevance in significance,

without connection and dear sweet affection

 

and

 

Each moment of quiet in between

brings sheer terror that lonely

has set in with permanence.

 

Surely it is here to stay

this time vitality is past, and

now a mystery of yesterday

 

Maybe this is it, where

ebb and flow has cycled

to its final resting place.

 

But given all time and space

all too often I forget,

for each autumn there is spring

and

below the winter snow

lies new life a seed will bring

from the ashes of despair

springs hope’s radiant glow aflare.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad. I like your use of the spring metaphor near the end. I think there are places where you could improve, just by tightening up your writing, things like that, but as this stands, it's very well done.

[Oblivion]

Thank you Trigorin.

[rivers]

This is a very evocative and thought provoking write. The depth comes from a place I have been to many times..I enjoy your writing very much and am adding this to my favorites list and your writing is a fine discovery this am...I enjoy your perception of life's circle...However I find the last stanza inspiration for this winter Monday in February as glimpses of spring have been scarce...

[Oblivion]

Thank you sir. Your comment are kind and appreciated.

[rivers]

Thank you...if I found more writing like this here at WC, I would return more often and become involved again

[Oblivion]

wow, strong compliment. Thank you again.

[rivers]

My reviews or comments are based on emotional connection to what I read. I used to review nearly everything I read...those days ended when I had an injury that left me typing one hand, left, and I am right dominant. The surgery was last June but the accident was right before joining WC March of 2012 and though I am still rehabbing while getting better, I had a lot of time for new perspective while I wrote one handed the entire time at WC until the last couple of months when I have not come here much. Just a bit of back story so you know I have not reviewed much for some time... now I am only going to comment on writing that I read that I am emotionally moved by...this writing is exactly that...keep up the good work.

[emmajoy]

'But given all time and space ~ all too often I forget, ~ for each autumn there is spring ~ and ..' - seems you have an aim, turning from grey to the brightest light.

Althought there's a sadness running through your poem, it's gentled by the beautiful phrasing. I'm truly looking forward to reading more of your work. Please, soon.

[J]

my goodness, not one comment on this gracious poem. how can 28 people read it and not be moved .......

your quiet words strike a chord, dear poet, and i feel better knowing i'm not alone in my thoughts. sometimes i feel if i say them out loud, i will no longer be able to ignore just how advancing the years have come. beautiful melancholy ending with a renewal hope that can hardly be ignored. perfection.

[Oblivion]

Wow, such a strong review, surpasses my expectations. Thank you, thank you. By your comments I can tell you understand the intent of my write.