My life As An Ex Wife Of An Alcoholic

I write these words to forgive but not forget. Maybe others have, or are going through this same thing...A form of healing. With much more to be written in the coming days. These writings aren`t to be mean. They are true. They happened...

 

  It`s sad that when marriages end that it is typical that there is resentment, fighting, lies, deciept, and more.

 

  Being married for so many yrs., I find it hard to forget but have foregiven. When you have shared so much with one person for so long, and brought 2 beautiful children into the world, the love or respect shouldn`t die just because the marriage ends. People move on with their new lives, but the "what used to be" never leaves ones memory. Not this memory anyway.

 

  But...there is a time when enough is enough! How can it be that 2 people that were so in love, to the point that after 20 yrs together, they still had the love and chemistry they did when they first met.

 

  Alcoholism took the love of my life away from me. It holds it`s grip on him so tight that it has soilled his thinking/rationalism, and pretty much everything about him. I had to decide finally that I no longer can continue to try to cure him. Pleading and begging one to stop drinking isn`t a cure. If it was, we wouldnt need all those people that claim to help them.

 

  I have moved on. Was so very happy. I didnt have the energy to live that life anymore. But now, after 2 yrs of me getting my happy back, his problems have re-entered my life. I thought it was over (the worry what condition he will be when i got home from work, and all the rest that happened). But the demon that holds him must be so intense. So intense that even his children are alienated from him. I can no longer help him nor pick him up when he fails. Its my life that is important now.

 

  I was doing so good. Then he couldnt handle it. Now I have to fight to get my happy and contentment back. I love him but hate the person he has turned into because of his alcoholism. I beg him to seek help so that I, and our children can be at peace. Please stop trying to punish me for running out of strength trying to cure you. Please stop the games you play as you know they only hurt you in the end. That makes me sad. Just think about what you have become. Not too late to change what you have damaged. I dont want you back. I just want you alive so you can experience our children growing up and the changes they are going thru.

 

  You would be so proud of BOTH of them.  

Author's Note

I have broken this into paragraphs, but I won`t budge on any spelling nor grammar mistakes lol

Reviews

[Tony]

Your spelling is horrid and you should paragraph more. This was a really thought provoking read for me. I have been an addict of one kind or another all my life. In this cafe I have heard much of the pain that is caused by men like me. And I am very very sorry. You really made me feel like a jerk. Which, I suppose, I am.