Prologue - The Legend Unfolds

Prologue - The Legend Unfolds

A Chapter by Shawn
"

The legend of the Three Trials is retold once more. An ancient hero undertakes a challenge and attempts to complete three trials to prove his courage, strength, and intelligence.

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Prologue - The Legend Unfolds

“Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Ba Kyard, there lived a young Hero named Pine Forrest. This hero was the champion of the kingdom, and he was thought to be the foremost knight of the realm. No one had ever defeated him in battle, and his blade of grass, picked from the Wild Beyond, was unparalleled throughout the land.

            “One day, a rival of his came to the kingdom and challenged him. He had been defeated in battle by Pine long ago, and had plotted his revenge for many moons. He met Pine in the courtyard of the castle in which the Hero resided. Said the man, ‘I’ve a challenge for you, Pine Forrest! Complete three trials, and you will be recognized as a true hero throughout the ages!’

            “Said the Hero Pine, ‘I accept your challenge! Name your trials three, and I swear I shall complete them!’

            “The rival, wanting to test the hero’s strength, declared at once, ‘Bring me the heart of the Frontian Demon!’

            “The Hero set off at once to find the demon and slay it. He journeyed far and wide, and even beyond his kingdom to distant lands, searching for his quarry. For three days he travelled from lands of grass to barren fields of dirt. For three days he hunted the beast through meadows and forests. For three days he was unsuccessful, until at last, on the third day, he met the beast. It towered above him, loping across the fields, ripping up the land and making a noise like a hurricane all the while. The Hero, unfazed, dove into the roaring mouth of the beast and, slicing it with his blade, took the clanking heart right out and began the journey home.

            “When the Hero finally returned and dropped the heart at the foot of his rival, the man was astounded. He had thought that Pine would perish in his quest. He stared at the monster’s heart, appalled.

            “’This challenge I have completed! What say you next?’ said the Hero Pine.

            “The other man, though vengeful, was not impatient. He had doubted his opponent’s strength, but had ready another trial. Said he, ‘A jewel from the Mid Realm!’

            “Now the Hero Pine was not foolish, and realized that this test could not be solved by strength alone. So he made camp at the Gate of the Mid Realm, and for three days he lay in wait. For three days he went with neither food nor drink. For three days he stared up at the giant Gate, closed before him. On the third day, the Gate opened, and the Hero entered. He travelled up cliffs and along mountains until finally, he reached the top. On a great plateau sat the greatest fortune anyone had ever laid eyes upon. The smallest jewel would be a great fortune to his people. He took hold of the smallest of them, still larger than him, and began the journey home.

            “When he returned and laid the gem at the foot of his challenger, the man was incredulous. He had not expected the Hero to complete this second trial. He had expected Pine to perish in the Mid Realm. But after a time, he conceived a third trial, one so dangerous, the Hero would surely perish. No man could be brave enough to complete this test. He finally answered Pine.

            “‘Bring me a blade from the Wild Beyond!’

            “Pine, knowing the dangers of this third challenge, said his last goodbyes and journeyed to the Great Wall. He took his trusty sword and began to climb. The Wall went far into the sky, and still Pine climbed. The air grew colder, his arms shook with fatigue, and still he climbed. Close to death, the top out of sight, he still climbed. After three days, he finally reached the top. Alone with the clouds, his final words came out. ‘A beautiful sight indeed,’ he said, staring out at his kingdom. He then vanished over the edge and into the Wild Beyond. No one ever saw or heard from him again, and legend has it that to this day, Pine Forrest the Hero wanders the Wild Beyond, journeying to lands unknown.”

            The book snapped closed, and everyone’s minds snapped back to reality with it. Sagebrush set the old book down on the table beside him and looked around at his audience. “Well, that was entertaining, wasn’t it? Now off you go!”

            One small boy raised his hand, a questioning look on his face. Sagebrush pointed at him. “Yes?”

            The boy answered in a hesitant voice, ”If he’s out there, why hasn’t anyone went and found him?”

            Sagebrush chuckled softly. “Well, son -- what is your name again? Cedar, isn’t it?” At a nod from the boy, he continued, “Well, Cedar, you see, no one had ever dared venture into the Wild Beyond before the time of Pine Forrest. No one has since. The Wild is a dangerous place for anyone. The Mid Realm Giants alone venture there, so needless to say no one from our village would dare attempt it. Even men from the Castle fear the unknown dangers of the Wild, and any creatures that lurk there would most likely kill anyone brave enough to venture there.” At this, a sad look overcame his features, but it was gone almost immediately. He recomposed himself. “Do you understand now?” he inquired.

            The boy’s head nodded automatically, and Sagebrush began to turn away. Something called him back. Perhaps it was the look on the boy’s face, or something else unknown. But Sagebrush thought at that moment, An inquisitive fellow. He could be the one. Then he shook his head and turned away. No, surely not.

            If he could’ve seen the little boy’s thoughts, he may have acted differently. Perhaps things would’ve been different. Perhaps the ancient traditions would have gone undisturbed.

            The boy was thinking, Someday, I’ll be the first. Someday, I’ll find Pine Forrest.



© 2015 Shawn


My Review

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Featured Review

I laughed a little at Ba Kyard. It's a story that doesn't take itself so seriously that it takes away the fun.

If you're going for a shorter book aimed at the 10 to 15 year audience you have a winner...or at least you would've when I was that age. I'm not sure what kids like now. But that's me going on my "old man at the age of 20" rant.

Anyways, I look forward to reading the rest. As far as improvements go, I can't see anything yet. This fits as a prologue. You don't need it to be too wordy. It's just to set the scene which you've done very well.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shawn

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the review! The 10 to 15 year olds were my target audience, or at least pretty close to i.. read more
Jordan

9 Years Ago

I think posting full length chapters on WC is a bit daunting for readers and I've yet to see an auth.. read more
Shawn

9 Years Ago

Ok, I'll keep that in mind. I know what you mean about the chapter lengths, and I don't see full-len.. read more



Reviews

Delightful! The tale of Pine Forrest hits all the right fairy tale notes and is very well told. The light tone makes it a pleasure to read.

I get the sense that these are small creatures, like ants or gnomes, and that the Giants of the Mid Realm are humans. If that's true, in a world where blades of grass are, perhaps, treated as swords, Pine Forrest is a herioc name indeed! I love it.

I'm not sure if I would tell the whole story before introducing Sagebush and his audience... Maybe something to play around with?

A good start for a book for younger audiences.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Let me just say first that I love your names! Your beginning is very clever and makes the reader interested in your story from the get go. I am interested to find out the significance of his blade of grass from the Wild Beyond, and I will for sure keep reading! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


really enjoyed reading this and now i'm having to try to stop reading what happens next as I have work to do, but I look forwards to reading the rest. Can’t wait to see what happens next

Posted 9 Years Ago


Shawn

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the feedback, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Your writing flows so smoothly! I really enjoyed reading this and reading the story of Pine Forrest made me think back on reading Gilgamesh in high school (not the characteristics of the hero of course, but just at his strength and his triumphant glories at accomplishing impossible tasks and the sad ending). Needless to say I loved Gilgamesh and I loved this piece! The little boys curiosity left me with a smile on my face after finishing this. Wonderful job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Shawn

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the feedback! I really enjoyed writing this, so I'm glad you enjoyed it too. I tried to s.. read more
Great write! Sorry it took so long to get back to you, I've been busy. The 'three trials' thing kinda reminds me if the old Greek Myths like Hercules. This piece was written in very good 'old timey legend' format and the vocabulary/language you used made it seem like someone was telling the legend to someone else. Judging by the quotation marks, this was the case. Great job, keep it up!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shawn

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the review! The legend part took up most of the chapter, so I'm glad you liked it! I pick.. read more
I laughed a little at Ba Kyard. It's a story that doesn't take itself so seriously that it takes away the fun.

If you're going for a shorter book aimed at the 10 to 15 year audience you have a winner...or at least you would've when I was that age. I'm not sure what kids like now. But that's me going on my "old man at the age of 20" rant.

Anyways, I look forward to reading the rest. As far as improvements go, I can't see anything yet. This fits as a prologue. You don't need it to be too wordy. It's just to set the scene which you've done very well.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shawn

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the review! The 10 to 15 year olds were my target audience, or at least pretty close to i.. read more
Jordan

9 Years Ago

I think posting full length chapters on WC is a bit daunting for readers and I've yet to see an auth.. read more
Shawn

9 Years Ago

Ok, I'll keep that in mind. I know what you mean about the chapter lengths, and I don't see full-len.. read more

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Added on June 18, 2015
Last Updated on June 21, 2015


Author

Shawn
Shawn

Seattle, WA



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*breaks ice on table* Now that the ice is broken, hi. My name is Ryder. I'm the guy that will verbally destroy anyone that opens their mouth. No one is safe... more..

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