insomnia

True and truthful.

4 o`clock in the morning.

Still awake.

Birds screaming.

Staff snoring.

Shadows dance around the room.

I have fallen down that rabbit hole.

AGAIN!

But no drugs.

Not this time.

Lies.

Lots of drugs.

Too many.

Imove ever so slightly.

Not slightly enough.

They know im awake.

They start talking. Shouting. Screaming.

All of them.

All at the same time.

Hyienas come to mind.

They hear that too.

My face.

My eye.

"Clean your face".

"Get that out of your eye".

I pick.

I scratch.

I claw.

Every little bit must come off. Come out.

They stop me.

They give me drugs.

The little people hate this.

Like one big transformer.

They get together.

One lot in this ear. One lot in the other.

Tears form.

I remember fairies are not real.

I remember wishes dont come true.

I remember Santa doesnt exist.

I think `if only i could go back`.

`Just a little bit`.

7 years.

I cry.

I sob.

I wail.

I cant blame the whole thing on them.

They are a part of me.

I created them.

However, i can blame the doctors, the funders, the f*****g professionals.

I can blame them.

I cry.

I sob.

I wail.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

5 o`clock.

Author's Note

This is one of many short memories I have put together. It is the first I have put up for critique so am a bit nervous, but if you like there are many more to come. It is real and completely true. I look forward for your criticisms.