Promiscuous Girl - A Betrayal

Heartbreak

"Please, you need this, I can’t tell you, you need to see this with your own eyes, please, do it for me."
Her lips are quivering and she's scared, she doesn’t want to do what she’s doing but she has to, she’s my best friend and she has to, for the sake of my sanity, she has to.
I force my legs to move and I stand and I walk, it never felt so hard. I take it step by step, one foot in front of the other, my body feels weak, I feel like I’m walking the green mile. I feel like I’m about to be murdered, devoured by the evil that the world and people dish out every single day, the pure f*****g hatred in every society, forcing the feeling that no-one should be happy, no-one can be happy.
I’m up the stairs I’m near the door.
I take a deep breath. It’s the longest walk I’ve ever made.
I make it through the door and to the chest of drawers. I use all the strength I can muster, I feel like I’m being suffocated, I snatch at the drawer pulling it out and watching as it crashes to the floor and then smashes into pieces.
I see the diary on top of the underwear, bright red like the devil, bright red like sin.
I pick it up and I open it.
I turn the pages.
I scan them with my eyes.
I’m scared and I’m afraid, I’ve had my heart broken once before.
My hands shake, much worse than even Parkinson’s disease could ever manage.
I’m suffocated.
I turn the pages.
I scan them with my eyes.
I reach a page.
I reach the page that she is talking about.
My eyes stop, dead.

I read it. My fears are confirmed.

I drop to the floor.
I crack my arm against the drawer but I don’t feel the pain.
I feel sick I want to vomit.
It’s disgusting and I can’t breath.
My world begins to cave in, in tatters.
The walls begin to close in on me. I feel insignificant. The white walls are closing in, closer and closer and I want them to. Crush me, smash me into a thousand little pieces.
I don’t want to be here anymore, my eyes hurt, the words hurt, my hands are shaking and they won’t stop. A tear drops from my eyes and onto the paper and it spreads out in a circle like the ripples of a calm lake disturbed.
Deceit and betrayal it’s too much to bear.
I have walked the green mile and I have been put to death.
I see my heart in the middle of the floor, broken in two but still beating, slowly and painfully but still beating.

I trusted her, I trusted her, I let my guard down and now I am destroyed. I feel two feet tall, insignificant.

My life is a pane of glass and it has been thrown to the ground without reason and without care and it has smashed into a million shards, each one is an emotion, each one is a agony, each one is filled with broken words and broken promises, every one has jagged edges, painful and sharp like the insert from the diary.
I don’t know where to turn.
I shake my head as the gates are opened, tears running from my eyes like a river. Warm salty tears sending shivers throughout my body and running down my cheekbones. I'm crying, I’m fifteen years old and I'm crying, desolate and heartbroken
My heart on the floor has stopped beating, it is torn in two and it has stopped beating, it’s covered in blood and it is lifeless.
My best friend tries to console me but I'm past been consoled.
"I’m sorry I’m really sorry, I couldn’t let you go on without knowing you needed to know I’m sorry, " she wails.
I’m speechless. I can’t speak for tears as I taste them on my lips, my cheeks, my whole face, everywhere, bitter salty and warm.
She embraces me and we’re both crying, we’re both crying hard and she hugs me tight so tight that I never want her to let go. I’m safe in her arms.
Our tears join together and from rain, it’s heartfelt painful acidic rain. From one best friend to another, a pure love without bias or agenda. There are no words and there doesn't need to be.
Silence.
Painful and bitter, pure and beautiful.

Reviews

[Angelheaded Hipster]

This is sad...this is good writing right here. To suffer a heartbreak at the age of 15...its expected, its a rite of passage....and you capture the emotions so well. To describe the feeling of the fall, the wanting to vomit everywhere....yuppers....that's a recognizable feeling.
This is a universal write, and like I said, you captured it well.

[Natalie C]

Tyler, I am speechless, this was brilliant in every sense of the word. I loved the way you seemed to bring out all those raw emotions while you so vividly describe the events as they painfully unfold right before our eyes.
Your imagery was excellent, forcing us, your readers, to feel the pain with the characters. Manipulating us into experiencing those emotions first hand...
Btw, I just love a story that leaves some room for the imagination, which you managed to do so perfectly here.

Great write, I really got into this!

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, this is such a powerful piece. It's truly packed with fear, pain, sorrow... and finally bittersweet hope. Thanks so much for sharing it.

[Kelly Scheppers]

"A pure love, without bias or agenda..." Great line!

I'm more into poetry myself, so I have a tendency to stick with what I know. You exhibit much passion in your work, allowing your reader to "feel" your emotion. You have only to nurture what it is - there within you!

My best to you, Tyler!

[TamiViolet]

Tyler, this is excellent. I 'feel' the pain and relate more than you know. Great images which give the story its depth and realism. Tears filled my eyes as I read it. I've been there. Structurally sound.