I polish off another line. I snort it straight up my right nostril and it stings as it goes, almost tickling the backs of my eyeballs and forcing me to recoil; the sickly taste already present as it begins its descent down my throat, forming a white paste lining my insides, continuing its journey to my stomach, grainy and sour, burning whatever taste buds I have left, the left over residue in my mouth producing saliva, my bodies natural reaction, thick and lumpy and forcing me to spit a little out, just to temper the foul sting of the taste, just enough so that I can stand it.
The music clambers from the speakers on the walls and the broken ray of light protruding from the bulb flashes a glint into my eyes as I feel myself slipping with the first wave, the faint unsteadiness coming over me, slowly slipping away into ‘Ket Kingdom,’ slowly, surely, each time different than the last in thought, in emotion, in feeling and in sight, each time different, each time déjà vu. Ten, twenty, thirty minutes pass as it takes its hold gripping tighter and sending me further, swaying from side to side and grasping my phone with my hand, feeling smaller than it should, bendy when rigid, biting down on my teeth and rolling my eyes; A First class ticket to ‘Ket Kingdom.'
The thoughts in my head begin to spiral, a kaleidoscope of emotion and landscape and colour, spiraling deeper, spiraling further, deeper, further, out of control, my mind separating from my body, in dream land where nothing can get at me and nothing can hurt. I see people who aren’t there and differing faces on the people who are, changing like the music, from song to song and face to face. I struggle to retrieve information and then to store it. My grasp is going. Deeper, further, almost, gone.
I feel like I’m under water in a cartoon that I can get involved with. I don’t know where I am or who I am or what’s going on right now, but it doesn’t matter. Everything makes sense even though nothing does. It’s a gorgeous feeling, a warm euphoria and for forty five minutes at least, my own little world.