Final Page

I saw her walk out of a coffee shop, light rain was falling. Her left hand held a cup but her right hand held another’s. I saw her walking with her man and she looked happy which confused how I should feel. Laminated by the rain a tan pea coat rested on his broad shoulder and followed his arm to meet a brown leather glove. From the bottom of his coat came a light grey trouser leg culminating at a brown leather brogue. He was well dressed. Black stubble lay across his cheek and mouth complimenting his jaw. His jaw hung very slightly open as he seemed to watch her speak with a smile hinted on his strong face. She was speaking quickly as if excited, raising her cup with her accents every few words. They walked as one and were only divided by puddles of rain water where they would extend both their arms and walk either side of the water before pulling themselves together again until their hands fell comfortably between them. Just before they reached a crossing they walked around another puddle and they extended their arms and walked either side, when pulling themselves back together he broke their grasp and rose his arm and put it around her neck so his forearm lay beside her cheek and he pulled her in and kissed her.

The stream of traffic separated us. The light signal changed and I walked across the road and stood where they had. They were way down the road but I could still see his head over the crowd, turned and conversing. His height was superior to mine, my head would have been submerged many seconds ago. My feet were cold where the street water had crept in through the cracks of my sole and dampened my socks. I stood still but the city moved around me unrelenting with its pace.

 

Reviews

[Annacate]

This pulls me in and makes me curious about the narrator. The details are clear and vivid, making it easy to follow and visualize. I, too, thought it was the beginning of the story, not the end. I would like to read more to find out who these people are.

[Aarea]

This is incredible!!! Your details and imagery are really well-used in this short piece. Interesting that you considered it an end to a story. I thought of it as the first page of a book. :) Either way, you are very good at making the reader care about what your character cares about. Nice work!

[RenegadeEscape]

Very well written! Such vivid details allowing the reader to completely grasp the scene. Thank you for sharing and looking forward to more of your work.

[Renee Broughman]

You didn't leave one detail out! I loved it I felt like I was there watching this beautiful couple interact! Great job!

[Angel Alli]

You have created a very wonderful piece. I like your attention to detail. It helps set the scene and puts the reader there.