Smiles and Goodbyes

We think with our dicks not with our heads,
Wake up with sore heads in strange beds,

Your lipstick stains my dreams,
When I sleep to find you again,
Smiles and goodbyes hit the heart of me,
Sword cuts ink scars more than this pen,

Furthermore it seems we never were,
How can you break up the broken,
Fairly odd tales tell the signs of her,
Emotions thrown around like tokens,

Conversations mix contemplations now,
Time sucked by empty words expressed,
Waves of awkward silence across the bow,
Going through the motionlessness.

Reviews

[Carissa Faulk]

You have really nice sound and flow. I would only suggest being more intentional with word choice. Some of these words seem to have only been picked because they rhymed (such as tokens). If it wasn't a rhyming poem, would you still have picked that word? Is that really what you meant, or was it just convenient?

Overall, very nice though :)

[Joe Butler]

Yes you are right sometimes I look for the rhyme rather than what I want the next line to be, thanks for the feedback :)