fairytale

written at the end of 2012

they're gonna think i'm crazy

they'll try to make me change

they'll be shocked, surprised

that after all of this,

i still miss you, in all your forms

the impossible you, from years ago

pressing thumbs and smiles

in the concert hall, we laughed

and you, always catching my eye

throwing it back to me

the you of midday and night,

in cold derailment and absence from that home

where we stayed up late

i never really knew you

but you showed me beauty

the you i hardly cared for

when i moved on and so did you

the lonely abstinence

of a season or two

or the you i love now

more than ever before

my soul mate, we laboured and died

arm in arm, sorrow in hand,

there we were left,

nothing but gone

and i'd give up

every last moment i cherish

in my aching mind

every time we laid our hair

upon those pillows,

or paled our faces like moonlight

oh my brother,

to relive this is my only fuel

like death i claw

into my own heart,

but to purge you from me

would be the end

no one can make me forget you

no force in this world has that strength

you give me meaning

in the only way i need

and i know we messed up

and this is the worst penance

for our collective crimes

but to be reunited one day,

some day not too far,

this is why i live

why i breathe

i would have finished it all

right there, right then,

if i hadn't known

that we'll always be together

in our hearts